Top Ten Cloves: Things President Bush Can Do To Boost His Popularity In Europe

News Item: Bush's Unpopularity in Europe Hangs Over Summit

10. Suit up for Team USA and play in the World Cup

9. Autographed pictures of the dead Zarqawi for anyone that asks!

8. Since most of their paper money is larger than U.S. money, be honest that they will be unlikely to fit $90,000 in their freezers

7. State emphatically that Cheney, or anyone else in Administration, hasn’t outted any European covert agents

6. Offer the EU Leaders lessons in planting fake news stories on European TV

5. Agreeing that she scares American children as well, promises to do what he can to keep Mary Matalin off television

4. Pull out of Iraq and invade France – No WMD’s needed – Just “General Principle”

3. In an Hitchcockian manner, offer to frag George Galloway in exchange for Europeans fragging Ann Coulter

2. Announce he’s issuing a Signing Statement, mandating all U.S. Newspapers to print the Danish Cartoons

1. Get Rick Santorum to now claim he’s found the Holy Grail