Top Ten Cloves: Things The CIA Will Do To Boost Morale and Rebuild Spy Network

News Item: Kappes Is Expected to Boost CIA Morale

10. Give clearance to retired CIA Station Chiefs that it’s okay to come out and call for Donald Rumsfield to step down or be fired

9. Avoid a bidding war with Mark Cuban, but land Dan Rather for agency; Between his National Guard story and knowing the frequency, he could be a valuable asset

8. Talk to Karl Rove, on better ways they can use the internet, to gain in influence and broaden CIA appeal

7. Start promoting and campaigning for CIA people to get secret Commander of the Order of the British Empire awards

6. Beat the NSA to the punch and get a wiretapping and eavesdropping operation up on that new eBay Sellers-and-Buyers Telephone Program

5. Memo All Employees – Keep Secret Prisons Secret!

4. Chance for General Hayden to let White House know that he’s no George Tenet or Porter Goss – Refuse to open file on how Congressman Murtha knows Karl Rove likes to sit in air conditioning and has a “big, fat backside”

3. Recruit new agents with the skills to get scoops, like the Washington Post, on how grim it is in Iraq

2. Station agents at Edwards Air Force Base; President’s surprise trip to Baghdad caught everyone with their pants down

1. Get a commitment from Vice President Dick Cheney, and his staff, that they won’t expose any more covert CIA agents