Many Europeans Fear North Korean Missile Strike On Bush While At EU Summit

With Image At Low Point, Europeans Lament Bush Visit During Summer Solstice

Calls Come To Stay Indoors, Despite Longest Day of Light; Many EU Leaders On Watch For Unannounced Visit

With domestic poll numbers rivaling former President Richard Nixon’s after Watergate, President Bush is finding his trip to the EU Summit in Vienna no more satisfying.

A huge wave of discontent has emerged, over the U.S. President making his 15^th visit to Europe on the day of the Vernal Equinox, or Summer Solstice. Calls came in Vienna for people to stay indoors during the President’s visit, despite it being the day of the year with the longest daylight, and, subsequently, the shortest night.

Tensions were running high for the President’s visit. Austria’s daily newspaper, “Der Standard” and their commentator, Hans Rauscher, labeled Bush as “probably the worst president of the past 100 years. The world has to suffer him until 2008.”

Additionally, many Europeans fear, with the escalating harsh rhetoric, that North Korea will launch their missile strike at President Bush, while he is in Europe.

President Given The “Bums Rush”

With President Bush scheduled to leave for Budapest, Hungary later today, sources tell The Garlic that the EU Leaders were “trying to speed things up” to get Bush moving on and “off the continent”.

According to veteran independent foreign correspondent, Huntley Haverstock Jr., the traditional and formal receiving line was eschewed, in favor of a very informal “tea session”.

“They didn’t put out any booze,” said Haverstock. “Not that the President would indulge, but they didn’t want the give the other diplomats the excuse to linger around. Everyone was in on it and if ever there was a bums rush, we had one here today.”

Haverstock added that he hasn’t “seen it this bad, for a U.S. President, since Ford.”

“The Europeans viewed Ford as a rube ... He was filling out Nixon’s term and they knew he wasn’t the one to get anything of substance done with.”

Bush Makes No Friends, Calling European Press “Absurd”

With Austrian Chancellor Wolfgang Schuessel constantly checking his watch, President Bush flashed with anger, bristling at a question from the European Media, if the United States was a bigger threat than Iran or North Korea regarding global security.

Bush snapped “That’s absurd” and pointedly added "We'll defend ourselves but at the same time we're actively working with our partners to spread peace and democracy.”

Chancellor Schuessel was heard by some to murmur that “it must be time now to spread some of that peace and democracy in Hungry, I’d say ...”

Unannounced Visits On EU Leaders’ Minds

Another current running through the President visit is that the majority of EU Leaders feared that President Bush would make an “unannounced visit” while he was on the continent

“We’ve seen,” said one Head of State, not wanting to be quoted for record, “how he throws his weight around on these kind of visits. We don’t want to get lectured, or find ourselves out of a job after he leaves.”

Many of the leaders attending the one-day summit, scheduled holiday time, to undisclosed locations, merely to rebuff any chances of President Bush dropping in on them.

It wasn’t all smiles and handshakes for President Bush (show here with Austrian President Heinz Fischer) during his EU Summit visit in Vienna, Austria. Sources tell The Garlic that Bush was given the “bums rush”, to “get him off the continent”. Many in Austria stayed indoors, and were upset that Bush choose to visit on the Summer Solstice, the one day of the year with the most daylight