Enjoying What Again?!

Like filler articles in newspapers, you gotta love the local television news anchors.

From ABC26 in New Orleans, there was a gem-of-a-gem the other day.

It came in a "Beauty Breakthrough" report, from reporter Catherine Shreves;



G-Shot Puts Sparks Back In Your Sex Life

The G-shot is usually performed by plastic surgeons or gynocologists. It's a quick injection of collagen-or hyalauranic acid (the same stuff used to plump our lips and fill in wrinkles) just at the base of the bladder. because the G-spot is anatomically tucked away, the goal of the G-shot is to make the G-spot more accessible.

G-Shot's official website says that in a pilot study, 87% of women surveyed reported enhanced sexual arousal/gratification after receiving the G-Shot.

[snip]

The G-Shot is a simple, non-surgical, physician-administered procedure that takes about 10 minutes. The doctor starts by numbing the area around the G-Spot, then administers the injection of the collagen or hyaluronic acid (like Juvaderm or Restalayne) filler. Doctors say it is safe, but there can be some side-effects, like bleeding, infections, urinary retention, and even a sensation of always being sexually aroused. They also add that it does not work for everyone. The filler lasts between 4-6 months, and the cost is about $1200. The procedure is usually performed by plastic surgeons or gynecologists.

Okay, even if it wasn't the Sweeps, you can run with this story under the auspices of Health, or Lifestyles.

Well, it seems that Shreves colleague, anchor Michael Hill, asked a follow-up question, that left little, nothing, to the imagination;

News Anchor Talks About Enjoying Penis (G Spot Shot)



Give Michael Hill a case of Brawndo, and book him for a cameo in the sequel, Idiocracy II.

Here's A Guy Destined To Win All The Toasters, Shavers and Kewpie Dolls

He's no "Opie and the Carnival" here.



Hotshot sniper in one-and-a-half mile double kill

A BRITISH Army sniper has set a new sharpshooting distance record by killing two Taliban machinegunners in Afghanistan from more than 1 miles away.

Craig Harrison, a member of the Household Cavalry, killed the insurgents with consecutive shots — even though they were 3,000ft beyond the most effective range of his rifle.

“The first round hit a machinegunner in the stomach and killed him outright,” said Harrison, a Corporal of Horse. “He went straight down and didn’t move.

“The second insurgent grabbed the weapon and turned as my second shot hit him in the side. He went down, too. They were both dead.”

The shooting — which took place while Harrison’s colleagues came under attack — was at such extreme range that the 8.59mm bullets took almost three seconds to reach their target after leaving the barrel of the rifle at almost three times the speed of sound.

The distance to Harrison’s two targets was measured by a GPS system at 8,120ft, or 1.54 miles. The previous record for a sniper kill is 7,972ft, set by a Canadian soldier who shot dead an Al-Qaeda gunman in March 2002.

Holy Bullseye Batman!

Give this man a Kewpie Doll!




Bonus Bonus

You can go HERE, and watch the full episode of "Opie and the Carnival"

Up, Up and Away ... More on Garage Attic Boy's Escapade

Well, it seems that there's some new things brewing, with Garage Attic Boy's escapade yesterday (see our earlier post today, Media Gypped ... Balloon Boy Only Garage Attic Boy).



The Henne family is being investigated for, possibly, pulling off a hoax, thanks, chiefly to the Wolf Blitzer interview, in which Garage Attic Boy, little Falcon, spilled the beans about it being "for the show" (Hmmm ... I wonder if CNN will start promoting themselves as "The Best Balloon Story Team on Television?)

Or, the parents calling a television station, before calling 911.

Libby Spencer, over on The Impolitic, seems to be first on the beat, as to what it may all be about;

It suddenly dawned on me a few minutes ago. If they're testing an experimental balloon, they would want video of the flight. That wouldn't be so easy to get on their own. Sure they could have chased the thing on the ground, but you can't count on constant visual contact from the ground so aerial footage like this would be invaluable. That's not something you could get on the cheap, and maybe not at all, as a private citizen. You would probably even get in trouble for launching without FAA permission. I heard they had to ground flights at a commercial airport at one point.

So voila. "Accidental" launch. Lost kid drama. Helicopter chase crews. It adds up to great documentation of your experimental craft's performance. It's the only thing that makes sense to me.

Oh well ...

No doubt, we'll be hearing more on this over the next few days

It suddenly dawned on us, that we have the perfect soundtrack of this;

The 5th Dimension - Up, Up and Away



Bonus Links

Ezra Klein: Balloon Boy a Hoax?

Kevin Drum: Quote of the Day

Skippy, the bush kangaroo: Balloon Payment

Media Gypped ... Balloon Boy Only Garage Attic Boy

Boy, what a story, huh?



Little boy floating hundreds-of-feet in the air, in a homemade weather balloon, of parents who were on a TV Reality Show?

Holy Cow!

The birth of a new genre - Missing Little White Boys!

Order the coffee and cots!

No doubt MSNBC ordered - stat - a new budget for a whole series of Doc Blocs.



Turns out the Falcon Heene never left this earth.

He hid out, fearing being scolded, in a garage attic.

While the helium may have exited the weather balloon when it crashed, it was a minor bleep to the Media's deflation, listening to the air hissing out of their babbling heads.

My favorite was here, locally, in Boston, Channel 5, WCVB-TV.

Anchors Liz Brunner and Ed Harding were solemnly reporting the story, giving updates as the broadcast moved along, cutting away to the live press conference with the local sheriff, where it was reported that little Falcon was safe, that he had been hiding "in an attic, in the garage."

Cut back to Ed and Liz, visibly relieved, reporting that the boy was safe, that he was found hiding "in either an attic, or the garage."

Way to go Ed and Liz, how to be on top of the story, getting those facts out there.

Paging Rita Cosby!

Coming Soon, On "Film At 11"

Yves Smith, over on his Naked Capitalism, has a head-shaker today;

Germans to Install Gold Vending Machines

You cannot make this stuff up. Even as of last summer, there were reports that gold at retail was priced at a hefty premium, often 20% or more, to professional prices. Greater convenience comes with a greater markup. The German gold vending machine reportedly update prices every few minutes and add a 30% upcharge.

Smith then points to this Financial Times article;

Germans taste machines with Midas touch

Long attracted to the safety of solid gold, Germans will soon be able to sate their appetite for the yellow metal as easily as buying a chocolate bar after plans were announced on Tuesday to install gold vending machines in airports and railway stations across the country.

[snip]

“German investors have always preferred to hold a lot of personal wealth in gold, for historical reasons. They have twice lost everything,” said Thomas Geissler, the owner of the company, who hopes to install “Gold to go” machines in 500 locations in German-speaking countries this year.

[snip]

A prototype vending machine on display in Frankfurt Airport on Tuesday appeared to be a converted version of the dispensers typically used to sell snacks. For €30 airport shoppers could buy a 1g wafer of gold, with a larger 10g bar priced on Tuesday at €245 and gold coins also on sale.

When the Financial Times bought the cheapest product it was dispensed in an oblong metal box labelled “My Golden Treasure”, with a certificate of authenticity signed by Mr Geissler but no receipt and the wrong change. Mr Geissler said he hoped to have a more advanced prototype available this month.

[snip]

Jens Willenbockel, an investment banker who saw the machine while passing through the airport, said he believed there could be a market. “Because of the crisis there is a lot of awareness of gold,” he said. “It is also a great gift for children – for them getting gold is like a fairytale.”

Call me skeptical, that people will want to secure their financial products, let alone precious metals, from a vending machine.

We will go out on a limb, that at some point in the near-term future, Munich residents will see a "Breaking News/Film at 11" story, of thieves hauling away one of these Gold vending machines, via truck.

I Guess, They're Not Using Their Own "Im Feeling Lucky" Bar

You want to know who's running circles around Google News?

Memeorandum.

So say The Guardian, in a article today, throwing some well-deserved kudos at Memeorandum.

Breaking news Memeorandum-style ...Where it competes, Gabe Rivera's news aggregator gets the stories faster than Google News

If you want to know what's happening in the world, then Memorandum will tell you – at least in a couple of areas. It's an automated news clipping service, known in the trade as a "news aggregator". It provides headlines and short texts updated every few minutes, with links to the original sites, much like Google News.

Memeorandum is based on the idea of "memes" or ideas that spread across the web (along with a pun on memorandum). Someone publishes an interesting story, other people find it, discuss it, and link to it. That's how the web works. Small stories come and go quickly, while big ones generate lots of comment and dominate the page for hours.

Snip ...

Google also follows links and assesses content, but Memeorandum is embarrassingly better than Google News. Google reckons that the more coverage a story gets, the more important it is. Unfortunately, broad coverage takes a long time to develop, so Google News can run hours or even a day behind Memeorandum. This is fine for casual consumers, but if you're a news junkie – or a journalist – it's hopeless.

We mentioned, referenced and linked Memeorandum here on The Garlic (go down the left sidebar, to their News Box), especially on gigantic, breaking news, frequently.

It is, perhaps, the best, single-source to jump to in the morning, to see what's hot in the news, especially if you want to track the buzz on the blogs.

Check'em out as you can ...


Bonus Riffs

Damozel: Memeorandum Gets a Well-Deserved Compliment from The Guardian

Libby Spencer: Credit where it's due

Joe Gandelman: Take A Peek At Super-Quick Internet News Aggregater memeorandum

Breaking News! Giant Search Engine Downed By GOP and RNC Staffers ...Google Crashes! Besieged With “I’m Feeling Lucky” Searches From White House, Congress; Amazon, D.C. Novelty Stores Hit With Run On Magic 8-Balls

Top Ten Cloves: Other Great Things You'll Get Using Google's New Retooled Search Engine

Life Imitates Art ... Or, Did Burt Lancaster Invent Google Earth?