Wednesday 13 April 2005

Sesame Street Goes Dark Over Dispute
Cookie Monster, Count Balks At Planned Healthy Foods Slant

Sesame Street, for the time being, is being brought to you by the letter "S" - for Strike.

After the Sesame Workshop Company, producers of Sesame Street, announced last month a new 'Healthy Habits for Life' initiative, one of it's stars, Cookie Monster, has refused to go on air. He was soon joined by Count Van Count, leaving producers the only option of shutting down taping of the popular children's program.

'Healthy Habits for Life' launched on April 4th, to coincide with Sesame Street’s 36th season. The initiative included a series of public service messages featuring Sesame Street characters and members of Congress, including Senators Hillary Clinton (D-NY), Christopher Dodd (D-CT), Lisa Murkowski (R-AK), Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) and others.

The PSA's were sent to television outlets across the country as the new season was to spotlight health issues with children, such as obesity, as well as the importance of physical fitness, healthy nutrition and personal hygiene.

According to his agent, Cookie Monster was not to be included in the 'Healthy Habits' segment.

"He's spent decades building up a character … He's type-cast … This would be a disaster for the Cook. It would cost him millions in endorsements".

Last minute talks, that had producers offering to substitute vegan or sugar-free cookies was declined by Cookie Monster.

Producers planned to work the 'Healthy Habits around Cookie Monster's shooting schedule, when another crises arose.

Count Van Count announced that, after undergoing treatment for depression, it was discovered he suffered from Repressed Memory Syndrome and wanted a new contract that would allow him to drink blood on the program. The Count soon joined Cookie Monster on the sidelines and producers halted taping.

A spokesperson for Sesame Street Workshop said that talks are on-going, progress is being made and they hope to have a resolution soon so taping can resume. It was also stated that the 'Healthy Habits for Life' PSA's will continue to run, as scheduled.


Rumsfeld Stumps In Iraq For Statehood
Warns Corruption, Civil Strife Could Derail Efforts

After announcing on Monday, plans to make Iraq the 51st state, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld made an unannounced visit to Iraqi, to confer with leaders and warn the corruption and civil turbulence could delay the efforts of statehood.

The Garlic, in an exclusive, reported on Tuesday the Bush Administrations plans to have Iraq become a U.S. state (Bush Moves On Making Iraq 51st State)

The surprise visit, not announced due to security precautions, had Rumsfeld meeting with newly elected Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari and Jalal Talabani, the Kurdish militia leader. Rumsfeld stressed to the Iraqi leaders that they must press forward and complete the formation of their government, which included drafting a constitution. The delays in doing so, Rumsfeld warned, drain support in the U.S. Congress to act on President Bush's proclamation for Iraqi statehood.

In the meeting, the Associated Press reported that Rumsfeld was peppered with questions as to how many congressman and senators Iraq would be allotted, when can they start receiving funds, and can they take special research trips like Congressman Tom DeLay takes.

A significant amount of time was spent discussing Federal holidays. The Iraqi's inquired if they are bound to observe the Martin Luther King Day, July 4th and Veteran's Day. Rumsfeld indicate they are bound, but also, as a state, they can establish an unlimited number of state holidays.

Following the meeting, Rumsfeld acknowledged that there are "challenges" but that "more and more Iraqi's are picking up on the cause of the new government" and are ready to "embrace statehood".

In a related story, President Bush, speaking yesterday to soldiers at Fort Hood, noted that trained Iraqi soldiers now outnumber U.S. forces in Iraqi.

Additionally, and to help the Iraqi leaders sell statehood, and get dipped in American culture, the President boasted that the toppling of the Sadam statue and freeing Iraqi two-years ago was just like Bobby Thompson's homerun in the 1951 playoff game for the New York Giants.