Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: How Ambassador-Nominee John Bolton Really Feels About United Nations

10. Disappointed he wasn't nominated sooner, so he could catch 'The Gates' while they were up

9. Should tear it down; Build new Jets Stadium there, as opposed to Westside

8. Thinks U.N. General Assembly might be a good enough team to challenge for the World Cup next year

7. Already has Security Resolutions written to target Senator Joe Biden as a terrorist threat and seize his assets

6. Feels U.N. Security Force weak; Couldn't break up a sorority house pillow fight

5. Confident, if they bought into Colin Powell's lies, he'll do just fine

4. Will keep criticizing U.N. until Annan cuts him in on Oil-For-Food profits

3. Plans first day on job to go over to North Korean Ambassador and kick his ass

2. Biggest challenge is get music played in headsets instead of boring translations

1. Only part of the job he will like is gets to park anywhere in New York City

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