Tuesday 12 April 2005

Garlic Exclusive!
Bush Moves On Making Iraq 51st State
DC Ignored; Puerto Rico Bumped Back To 52nd 'Unofficial' State

President Bush, and the White House, dropped a bombshell yesterday, when it was intimated that the Bush Administration is preparing legislation to make Iraq the 51st state of the USA.

Faced with mounting criticism, from Congress, the general public and internationally, and with funding battles looming, inside sources say that a troika of Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Chief of Staff Andrew Card have been building a coalition of Senators and Congressman to endorse a proclamation by the President to make Iraq the 51st state.

Bypassing a special Enabling Act, which hasn’t been ruled out by Cheney, Congress, with the coalition behind it, could pass a bill recognizing Iraq as a state.

It was reported that establishing Iraq as a territory of the United States was briefly discussed, however, that avenue presented limited options as to funneling more funds for the seeds of democracy. It was argued that the current U.S. occupation of Iraq essentially amounted to Iraq being a territory.

As a state, Iraq would be eligible for a wide variety of funding, from numerous government agencies, including the lucrative Federal Transportation Department budget. Card pointed out the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and its' capital, the City of Boston, for the billions they received, with almost unchecked usage, for it's plagued 'Big Dig' project.

The key delay in making this move has been the laborious, dragged out Iraqi January voting and vote counting, as well as the subsequent in-fighting in choosing a cabinet for the newly elected Iraqi parliament. Additionally, Cheney and Card have reportedly quarreled over whether Iraq would be a 'state' or a 'commonwealth'.

Reaction to the reports stunned House and Senate Democrats, including eight-term District of Columbia Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton. The District of Columbia has been fighting for statehood since 1970.

Holmes was particularly outraged at the reported off-the-cuff dismissal by Cheney, who, at a breakfast meeting, allegedly stated; "What's their gripe? We're giving them back baseball this year .. What more do they want?"

Cheney was referring to the new Washington Nationals, Major League Baseball's return to the Capital for the first time since 1970, when the former Washington Senators closed down and the team moved to Texas to become the Texas Rangers - a team once owned by President Bush.

"If the Vice-President thinks baseball is the answer for statehood, then let's ship the team to Wyoming and we'll have DC take their place as a state".

The criticism was swift from the U.S. Territory of Puerto Rico, who has been impatiently waiting for statehood recognition from the U.S. since 1898, when the U.S. took control of the island from Spain, following the Spanish-American War.

Sila M. Calderon, the first women governor of Puerto Rico, elected in November 2000, indicated this sets back Puerto Rico efforts to become a state and fuels the opposition, the segment of Puerto Ricans who favor becoming an independent nation.

"What are they all loco up there? Puerto Rico is a very vibrant Commonwealth, that costs the United States over $10-billion-a-year to maintain as a territory. Give us the full statehood and let our economy grow, just like they did with Hawaii and Alaska … And who flies off to Alaska for a weekend, anyway?"

Numerous U.S. Presidents have primed Puerto Rico's hopes for statehood, going back to the Eisenhower administration, less for Puerto Rico's benefit and more as a launching base for the long-sought war with Cuba.

In Iraqi, newly-elected Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari offered his support for Iraqi statehood, but indicated it would be a hard sell with the new, fractious government.

Both Cheney and Rice have reportedly been pushing hard for the President to release his proclamation. By rushing Iraqi to statehood, the administration could immediately augment U.S. Forces with additional support, coming chiefly from the National Guard.

Gone would be the lazy weekend retreats, or summer vacations as, with Iraqi being a state would allow the Pentagon to reassign and relocate whole divisions of the National Guard to Iraqi as their reporting base.

World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz, former Bush Administration Deputy Defense Secretary, endorsed the Iraqi statehood program, indicating it as a perfect opportunity to expand the building of U.S. bases in the Middle East - without opposition - and position the United States to next invade Iran. Wolfowitz reportedly pledged back-channel funding for the project.

With a significant mountain of details, programs and policies to be developed, the official language of Iraqi will remain Arabic, however a substantial push will be made, starting at grade-school levels for English to be the second language.

As to the new state's economy, Chief of Staff Card is said to be leveraging his New England connections and has a commitment from Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Nation, owners of the Foxwood Resorts Casino in Connecticut, to build a gambling resort in Baghdad. Card is also soliciting other major companies to either relocate to the new state of Iraq, or to establish branch offices.

To date, it is reported that only Halliburton has signed a lease on office space in Iraq.

Many inside Washington wondered where White House Senior Adviser Karl Rove was with the Iraqi statehood push, or more to-the-point, why he wasn't out at the front of it.

White House spokesman, Scott McClennan immediately put to rest any scent of a rivalry or discord between Rove and the troika, indicating;

"…We only use Karl to rig elections".