President, forcefully, announces “I’m the decider”

White House Stumbles, Late Providing Wagons To Circle Around Rumsfeld

President Said To Be Irate With Paperwork Snafus, Vendor Shortages; FEMA Asked To Appropriate Katrina Trailers

Staking his legacy on the success of the War in Iraq, President Bush, and the White House, has stumbled with embarrassing missteps, being forced in taking the extraordinary step last week, and again this morning, of issuing a statement of support for the embattled Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld,

Sources tell The Garlic that Bush “is going nuclear” over the Pentagon “dragging their feet” in circling the wagons around the Secretary and, in kind, exasperating his staff.

With the Easter Holiday weekend approaching, and the growing likelihood that wagons would not be provided, the White House took the course to have President Bush issue a “strong” statement of support for Rumsfeld.

In the statement released last Friday, the President firmly stated that "Secretary Rumsfeld's energetic and steady leadership is exactly what is needed at this critical period. He has my full support and deepest appreciation."

President Was Expecting To See Wagons Around The Pentagon

“The President,” offered one staffer who stated a need for anonymity, “was – literally – expecting to see wagons in front of the Pentagon.”

Reportedly, according to this staffer, and other sources, Rumsfeld, working with the White House, had ordered vintage World War I wagons to be placed in front of the Pentagon, for a Rumsfeld press conference. It was said a “high-priority” request from the President went out to a range of military museums, private owners and the U.S. Military itself.

Due to paperwork snafus, and vendor shortages, the wagons never arrived.

“Classic Washington,” sniffed another source. “They didn’t have an official purchase order, or procurement order and number. None of these places are going to move a paperclip without that sheet and official stamp.”

Unconfirmed reports say that even Vice President Dick Cheney got involved, physically showing up, ranting and raving, issuing threats, and demanding the release of the wagons, but was rebuffed, due to the lack of official protocol.

“We've wasted three years in Iraq”

Rumsfeld has come under heavy criticism from, at least six, retired generals, saying he has harsh management style and that he has mishandled the War in Iraq. The retired generals have called for Rumsfeld’s resignation or firing.

Retired Marine Lt. Gen. Paul K. Van Riper labeled Rumsfeld’s decisions “disastrous", citing the planning and execution of the war and poor command climate.

In an interview with CNN last week, retired Army Maj. Gen. John Batiste called for a “fresh start” and that "We need leadership up there that respects the military as they expect the military to respect them. And that leadership needs to understand teamwork."

Speaking about Rumsfeld direction of the war, retired Marine Gen. Anthony Zinni, author of a new book, "The Battle for Peace", and longtime critic of the Bush Administration’s handing of the war, said "the problem is that we've wasted three years in Iraq” and believes “absolutely” that Rumsfeld should resign.

President, forcefully, announces “I’m the decider”

This morning, Rumsfeld held sway at a rambling press conference, in which he said “no” in answering a question if he would consider resigning to take the heat off President Bush.

"The president knows, as I know,” said the Secretary, “there are no indispensable men ... He knows that I serve at his pleasure, and that's that."

President Bush, speaking at a ceremony in the Rose Garden, announcing new staff changes, said "I'm the decider and I decide what's best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

New Chief of Staff Ordered FEMA Trailers; Rove Had Smear Campaign Ready For Generals

Washington skeptics have been glued to this drama, framing as the first crises for new Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten.

Reports are circulating that Bolten, in learning of the problem of getting wagons to the Pentagon, called Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff and ordered the unused FEMA trailers be brought to Washington, and to have them painted in the olive green of the Army, for the show of support planned at the Pentagon.

Chertoff, according to sources, placed a call to Special White House Council Karl Rove, to verify the order, and Rove nixed it cold and could be heard shouting to his secretary to “get Bolten in here, now!”

Unconfirmed reports say that Rove has readied a smear campaign against the retired generals, and is waiting for the President, or Vice President, to give the signal to let them out.

“This wouldn’t have happened if Andy [Card, recently resigned Chief of Staff] was running the show,” said Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century.

“Card would have had a whole marketing campaign laid out to beat down the retired generals. The President would never have had to release that statement last week and Rumsfeld would have come out of this with a tickertape parade ...You would be seeing talking points out the ying-yang, with the pundits tossing Rummy’s name into the 2008 hat ... that is, if Andy was in control.”

In his first crises, new Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten was said to have his plans to bring in FEMA trailers to rally around Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, in leiu of wagons, nixed by Karl Rove