Monday, July 07, 2008

This Was Too Surreal ...

Ed. Note - Just popping in for a quick post, while it's hot (both literally, and figuratively; I may not get to posting to later tonight, due to both, things on the homefront, and the OPPRESSIVE HEAT AND HUMIDITY rolling in here today, and staying around another two days).

I had been sitting here, going through email, responding, etc, with the television on in the background (tuned, at the moment, to MSNBC).

Not really paying attention to what was on, I suddenly heard a voice railing against Barack Obama, that he's raise your taxes and if you want someone who will lower your taxes, then I am the candidate to vote for.

The voice sounded tinny, and false ... Feigning enthusiasm and, straining to create a pace and cadence ...

I thought, quickly, that MSNBC must have been showing a report on the comical and satirical YouTubes aimed at the campaign, as they do from time-to-time.

Well, when I swung around to see what was one, I almost fell out of my chair.

It was a live report, from Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, speaking at an "Economic Town Hall", in Denver.

I believe he was unwrapping his grandiose Economic Plans, the one that promises to balance the budget by the end of his first term (if elected, of course) and, since he's including the money in the plans, victory in Iraq and Afghanistan.

(You can look at Josh Marshall's post to get a feel for how much this is already being derided; Think Progress's Wonk Room also has "McCain’s Victory Dividend" and Steve Benen offers "When a candidate unveils an economic plan — without any numbers", and, the plan is, reportedly, being rejected by his own economists)

It was nearly surreal, for to match the voice, Stumblin' Bumblin' John had a cheesy, shit-eating grin plastered on his face, obviously struggling with attempting to speak and smile at the same time.

I mean this was really, truly bad ... Really bad public speaking.

It was a man giving a speech, as if he was standing in front of his bedroom mirror, practicing giving the speech ...

Man ... Saturday Night Live has to bring back Dan Aykroyd this fall, to have him reprieve his Leonard Pinth Garnell character, run one each week until the election, perhaps changing the skit title from 'Bad Theatre" to 'Bad Campaign Speeches', and have him, ever so drolly, take Stumblin Bumblin' John apart.

As far as Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain and public speaking goes, if this were boxing, the ring doctor and referee would be calling the fight, seeing that he was being brutally beaten, and not letting him injury himself any further with continuing to go on.

And, almost as if on cue, this appeared yesterday;

McCain Battles a Nemesis, the Teleprompter

By his own admission, Mr. McCain is not a great orator. He is ill-suited to lecterns, which often dwarf his small stature, and he tends to sound as if he is reading his lines, not speaking them. His shortcomings have been accentuated in a two-man race, particularly because the other man — Senator Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic nominee — can often dazzle on stage.
You don't need to compare him to Obama, to see how awful he is.

The McCain Campaign does seem to recognize this problem, and, in the classic American "Can-Do" spirit, they're spinning the ol' "making lemonade out of lemons" saw;
Indeed, Mr. McCain and his advisers seem to be trying to present him as a kind of anti-Obama whose weaknesses as a political performer underscore his accessibility to regular voters.
Yet, in the same article, a former aide has a different perspective;
Dan Schnur, Mr. McCain’s communications chief during his 2000 presidential campaign, said, “Besides his convention speech, the only time I would even put him behind a podium at all between now and the end of the campaign is when he’s announcing a policy position.”

This has the makings, of a good, old-fashioned screwball comedy, with a gaggle of people running around crazy, trying to keep Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain away from a microphone, and/or giving speeches.

Hmmm ... That would have to star William Bendix... He was a big lug-of-a-guy, always good playing someone that was clueless ...Not, necessarily, the brightest bulb in the patch ...

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