Top Ten Cloves: Things Superman Will Do To Show That He Is Not Gay

News Item: How Will a Gay Icon Fly at the Box Office?

10. Figure how to explain to Lois Lane that suddenly became allergic to the satin sheets

9. Stop accepting dinner invitations from Batman and Robin (Or, at least the after-dinner massage from Robin

8. Cut up ‘Bed, Bath and Beyond’ credit card

7. Call Congressman and urge them to vote for the Same-Sex Marriage Amendment

6. Along with the tights and cape, start wearing a John Deere Baseball Cap

5. Try to start hanging out with David Hasselhoff more often

4. Instead of flying to crimes scenes, show up in a big-ass, supercharged Ford F10 Pick-Up truck

3. See about dating Bo Derek – At least, on the nights she’s not with White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolton

2. Throw away his DVD of “Boys Don’t Cry”

1. Stop whistling Everything's Coming Up Roses whenever running into an alley or phone booth to change from Clark Kent to Superman