Monday, September 14, 2009

Computer Purgatory

Well there, Garlic Fans, we have to, once again, stand before you, head bowed, a bit, murmuring into our shoes, about the trials-and-tribulations we've experienced, leaving The Garlic barren of any new material.

In a phrase, Computer Purgatory.

Last Tuesday, as we were settling in, rolling up our sleeves to start pounding the keyboard, a little icon popped up, indicating that "You're computer is not fully protected".

Clicking on the small McAfee icon did nothing.

Hmmm ...

So we clicked on the larger, shortcut McAfee icon, and, again, nothing.

Went into the Program Menu, clicked the McAfee icon and - wait, you know this answer - yes, nothing ...

So that prompted about 5-6-hours of running malware and spyware scans, which turned up ... nothing.

Shutting down and rebooting - nothing

Completely turning off the computer and restarting it - nothing.

So Tuesday evening, we make the call to Comcast, batter through their evil voice-mechanized telephone system, get a live person, get transferred to the Internet Department, and then, once problem is stated, transferred to the Comcast-McAfee Department (CMD for short, going forward).

First CMD person encountered, reeking of being in a country not the United States starts running me through her script, with all the ebullience she could muster, yet you could, if you listened closely, hear the "Insert Customer Name Here", and plowing through, despite my requests to allow me to just tell her what the trouble is.

When we get to that point, I am told the problem rests with Internet Explorer (which I don't use), and I was given instructions to remove IE 8, and then (and this is the part I really liked), call the Microsoft Hotline (she provided the number, once I calmed down and ceased ranting), to get instructions on how (and where to find) downloading IE 7 (or IE 6), which she confidently exclaimed was compatible with McAfee.

On Wednesday AM, I did such, and said Microsoft Hotline person exerted themselves with Herculean muscle, pointing me to their website.

So, IE 8 removed, IE 7 downloaded and installed, reboot and, once everything is back up, click on the McAfee icons ...

Drumroll, please


So, back to calling Comcast (see above), live person, another transfer, and we land with CMD Person #2, also located in a country not the United States.

This CMD Person #2 wants to show me how smart he is, telling me to forget all that stuff about Internet Explorer and to read him all of the programs loaded on my computer.


CMD Person #2 pulls the needle out of the haystack and says I have to remove Malawarebytes Anti-Malaware and SuperAnti-Spyware, as they are the culprits.

I reply that they have been the most helpful programs, removing, with ease, any trojans and other garbage ... CMD Person #2 confidently boasts the McAfee will do that ... I retort that I had McAfee and got a trojan, which prompted me to use either, or both, of those programs to remove said trojan, the one McAfee didn't get.

CMD Person #2, feeling trumped, perhaps, decides to get snide, and blames my troubles on the "Third Party Software" I use, meaning the McAfee program provided by Comcast as standard service ... I shoot back that, doesn't McAfee stand behind its' product?, prompting some verbal stumbling by CMD Person #2, and the additional instructions to also remove "Windows Live One-Time Safety Scanner" and, wait, you're gonna like this, call the Microsoft Hotline (Hey, I already have that number!) to get instructions, once removed, of cleaning up any pieces of it that may lay behind in my Registry, or other locations.

Were into Thursday now, do the removals and call Microsoft Hotline, transferred to Live Care Department, and a good souled person advised all that was needed was to go to the Add/Remove Program and remove it.

Complete that, reboot, start-up and still no McAfee, and dreading calling the Comcast-McAfee Department again, fearing further instruction from them will leave my computer looking like it went through a Looney Tunes repair shop.

So, on Friday, bolstered by a few cups of coffee, we make the call and CMD Person #3 (yes, not in the USA) gets on the line, and before he can do anything, I recount for him the above, and he's not going to shine me on.

[Note - I was remiss, in the above, on adding, that with each step, I also had to remove the McAfee program, and then, after performing the the various steps, go back out to the Comcast website and redownload McAfee]

CMD Person #3 was quite emphatic, and I thought I heard a mumble of WTF!, as I retold him the previous steps.

I was advised to reload Malaware and AntiSpyware, remove McAfee once again, run those programs, reload McAfee again and all should be fine.

That was Friday night and Saturday morning (sure enough, there were hundreds of shit files now on the computer) and once everything was done, clicking on the McAfee icon opened up McAfee


While we did, through all this, sneak on each day, to post the "On This Day" posts (and, the special Sept 11th one), we stayed off the computer, so as not to further contaminate the computer, so we have been terribly behind in our reading.

Additionally, we have a few things percolating on the homefront, and still under siege of allergies, therefore, we couldn't muster up the creative energy to get back on-track this weekend.

Hopefully, we can still salvage September from this sad-sack beginning and get back to business.

So, once again, thanks for visiting (remarkably, traffic has remained steady, if not slightly better) and reading The Garlic

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