Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Complaints Heard Most By Returns Departments This Christmas Season

10. The person that gave this to me said it was a "holiday" gift and not a "Christmas" gift

9. I live in New Orleans and I don't have a house to put it in

8. The candelabra isn't like the one Randy Cunningham has

7. Since I was outted as a covert CIA Agent, I don't need another trench coat

6. If I keep this gift, I might be subpoenaed by Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald

5. Donald Rumsfeld thinks I have too many gifts

4. I can't tell you the reason, it's classified as part of Vice President Dick Cheney's Secret Energy Meeting

3. Believe, because of gift, President Bush is eavesdropping on my telephone calls

2. I would have come during my lunch break but I work for Wal-Mart

1. The gift is sending me secret signals from David Letterman

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