Wednesday 28 December 2005

Bush, White House Aiding Chalabi; Will Appeal Election Results To Supreme Court

Iraqi Exile Leader To Provide Bush Team With New Misleading Intelligence; President "Wants WMD's This Time"

Already raising legal eyebrows, for having the U.S. Justice Department join in the pending Anna Nicole Smith case coming before the high court in February 2006, The Garlic has learned today that a team of White House and Justice Dept. lawyers are in Iraqi, preparing papers and briefs for longtime exile leader Ahmed Chalabi to appeal his apparent loss in the Iraqi elections to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Sources tell The Garlic that Chief Justice John Roberts has already been notified that an appeal will be filed, possibly within days.

'They're pretty confident," said one senior official, who in not authorized to speak on-the-record, "that the court will put Chalabi in the government. It's being done with a nod-and-a-wink to Roberts, to use the Bush v. Gore precedent."

Back in December of 2000, the Supreme Court, under the late Chief Justice William Rehnquist, ruled that George Bush won the deeply contested Presidential election, despite, allegedly, not having the most votes.

"Miers, and a whole team from Justice are pouring over the Iraqi results, looking for, and in some cases, really stretching, to find similarities there, with the Florida vote and count of 2000."

With over 95% of the December 15th voting ballots counted, surprising and unexpectedly low support from overseas voters has Chalabi facing being left without a seat in the first full-term of the new Iraq Parliament.

In return for the support, Chalabi is said to be working on creating a new batch of misleading intelligence, including new information and freshly drawn maps, of where Saddam Hussein, the former Iraqi dictator, hid his Weapons of Mass Destruction.

"The White House has made it very clear," said the official, "that they want the WMD's this time."

The news of the United States actively pushing Chalabi into a role with the new Iraqi government is adding to the growing tensions over the election results.

With the United Iraqi Alliance, the Shiite-led coalition, soaring ahead with a commanding lead in the voting, protesters, primarily Sunni Arabs, are charging fraud, and calling for new elections.

The Independent Electoral Commission of Iraq, as well as a team from the United Nations, who has been assisting in the election, have stated that it was a "transparent, credible and good elections."

There are also signs that the President is taking other actions to assure Chalabi a seat.

Rumors have been circulating on Capital Hill that the President's agreement to extend the passage of the Patriot Act as a "quid pro quo" on inserting new language, specifically naming Chalabi and guaranteeing him a position of leadership in the Iraqi Assembly.

"Just like they did with the UN vote, wiretapping and eavesdropping Security Council members to gain knowledge on how they would vote." said one Senate aid, "the White House has been monitoring the Congress."

The President, it is said, also has legal briefs and papers, from White House council, as well as Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, that he can name Chalabi to the Iraqi Government under Article 2 of the U.S. Constitution, as well as his authority via executive powers and by the vote of Congress on going to war in Iraq.

Gonzales said that the President was on "firm legal ground" to reach out to the Supreme Court, if necessary, and via "the Patriot Act, the war powers granted him by Congress."

''It would be legal for the President to take this action, as he has swore to uphold the laws. Legal authority is derived from the Constitution,'' he added

"He's going to milk these things," offered Sonny Earl, editor of a Supreme Court newsletter that monitors the court's activities, 'OMIB" ('The Original Men In Black').

"He'll wrap Chalabi up into National Security, using the same argument to justify his eavesdropping on American phone calls. I suspect the White House, if more trouble and indictments come down the line, will simply point to the Constitution, the Congress, the Patriot Act, as an excuse for their behaviors and then let it all get tied up in the courts for years to come."

Vice President Dick Cheney, and his staff, are said to be standing ready, to smear and defame anyone that challenges placing Chalabi into the Iraqi Government.

In a statement released by the Vice President's office, Cheney said that "Ahmed Chalabi is a valuable and trusted ally to the United States in our war against terrorism. He has provided key information that has allowed us to disrupt terrorist acts and we look forward to working with him in the future, to help keep the people of America, as well as around the world, safe."

"He's been instrumental," Cheney added, "in keeping them over there, and not here. In case anyone noticed, you haven't seen any mushroom clouds here in the past four years, have you?"














In his Christmas visit to Iraq, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld pulled a surprise "kitchen inspection" and chastised the staff, manning the food lines himself to demonstrate the proper amount of food to dispense.