10. Make himself permanent host of "Saturday Night Live"
9. Unlimited servings at any salad bar in the country
8. Can carjack any American Citizen he wants and won't face arrest or prosecution
7. Replace the stars on American flag with a picture of himself, Laura and the twins
6. Donate enough money to the GOP and he can place your favorite NFL Team directly in the Super Bowl
5. Can have secret meetings, secret prisons, secret wiretaps … Wait … Patriot Act already lets me do that
4. Through Special Executive Order, can take off Bono and Bill and Melinda Gates and make himself Time Person-of-the-Year
3. Redistrict, not just Texas, but the entire country and eliminate altogether the Democratic Party
2. Put the White House on the market and, when its sold, keep the profits
1. Not only is he Commander-in-Chief, but, in 2006, new captain of New York Yankees
9. Unlimited servings at any salad bar in the country
8. Can carjack any American Citizen he wants and won't face arrest or prosecution
7. Replace the stars on American flag with a picture of himself, Laura and the twins
6. Donate enough money to the GOP and he can place your favorite NFL Team directly in the Super Bowl
5. Can have secret meetings, secret prisons, secret wiretaps … Wait … Patriot Act already lets me do that
4. Through Special Executive Order, can take off Bono and Bill and Melinda Gates and make himself Time Person-of-the-Year
3. Redistrict, not just Texas, but the entire country and eliminate altogether the Democratic Party
2. Put the White House on the market and, when its sold, keep the profits
1. Not only is he Commander-in-Chief, but, in 2006, new captain of New York Yankees
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