News Item: Romney Joins the 2008 Race
10. Announced that his former company, Bain Capital will purchase the bus company that rival Senator John McCain is renting his "Straight Talk Express" from, confiscate the bus and rename it the "Innovation and Transformation Express"
9. Ignored questions about his youthful looks but emphatically denied he was the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby
8. If elected, plans on having the Olympic Theme played everytime he enters a room, instead of 'Hail To The Chief'
7. Said, if he was President, his Surge Plan would go much better because he'll have wiretapped mosques beforehand
6. Speculated that his latest position on abortion will probably hold up through the campaign
5. The grandchildren who attended the announcement kept pestering him on why he didn't have a big gavel they could play with
4. Says he understands, and is ready to face the "Is he Mormon enough" questions
3. Plans on being inclusive, and having Bill Donohoe, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, vet his bloggers
2. Assured crowd, that if you can get past the name "Mitt", there's no weirdness factor in his dossier
1. Chose the Ford Museum, mistakenly believing the funeral for former President Gerald Ford was still going on and could catch the draft from it