Top Ten Cloves: Ways CIA Will Cut Back On Using Contractors

News Item: CIA Plans Cutbacks, Limits on Contractor Staffing

10. See if Pat Robertson can launch a hurricane or stampede against them

9. Have the Senate tack on to the Alberto Gonzales No Confidence Vote, one for the contractors as well

8. Will get Blackwater to threaten to sue any contractor who doesn't resign voluntarily

7. Badger them by getting Bill O'Reilly to start one of his inane wars against them

6. Can lop off 15%-20% just by giving them standard CIA Personality Test

5. Hire Monica Goodling to weed them out

4. Ask the contractors if they believe in evolution - Keep the ones that do, layoff the ones that don't

3. Reclassfy the contractors as "Linguists" and then fire them like the Army did

2. Look through contractor list to see which ones covert, and then get Office of Vice President to expose them

1. Adopt Soprano tactic and, in video conference call about employment status, have screen fade to black