Friday, October 12, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons For Nobel Peace Prize Winner Al Gore Not To Run For President

News Item: Gore Wins the Nobel. But Will He Run?

10. Holding off making any kind of announcement, anxiously waiting to see if his real dream job comes through - Managing the New York Yankees

9. James Baker just scares the bejeezes out of him

8. Thinks the phrase "First Lady Tipper" sounds like something off a Sexual Predator List

7. Can drag out the suspense of the firm denial for a few months and relish seeing the Clintons twisting with the thought of his running

6. Holding out - If he can solve this Global Warming thing, some country will surely offer him a Kingship

5. Would be too tempted to do those primetime, national television speeches with his Oscar and his Nobel Peace Prize sitting on the desk in front of him

4. Doesn't want to be petty - Likely, in his first official act as President, if elected, would be to issue a Signing Statement on how much now-former-President George Bush sucks

3. Knows he'll catch shit from the Green crowd when he flies into those Global Warming concerts in Air Force One

2. Oh God, the diets...

1. Doesn't want to be the one to evict Vice President Dick Cheney, who, being addicted to the power as he is, will refuse to leave his office on January 20th, 2009

Congratulations! ... Way To Go There Big Al!

Bonus Gore Wins! Links

Josh Marshall: On Gore

Steve Benen: Gore has quite a decade

Scarecrow: Al Gore Wins the Nobel Peace Prize

Carl Pope: Why Al Gore deserves the Nobel Peace Prize; Gore's epic effort to focus attention on the perils of climate change supports the goal of preventing wars.

No comments: