News Item: Thompson survives his first debate
10. Very surprised, since CNBC and MSNBC were televising the debate, they didn't throw in the 'Law & Order' sound effect every time he spoke
9. Prepared by taking a nice, long nap
8. Was relieved, seeing the all the other candidates on the stage, that he didn't mistakenly show up at a Black College
7. Was overly-conscious of tapping his foot
6. Kept his cellphone on, hoping his wife would call during the debate
5. Had trouble stifling the urge, to report back to former Nixon Administration staffers, dirt on the other candidates in the debate
4. Lobbied before the debate to allow him to have his red pick-up truck parked behind him on-stage
3. Forgot to give some of his answers in the persona of SNL's Darrell Hammond, doing his imitation of himself
2. Sweating bullets, hoping none of the other candidates caught the news of the Nixon Tapes, and start asking him if he really is "Dumb as Hell"
1. Tired ... Expended too much energy beating away Debate Moderator Chris Matthews, who was drooling, asking if he could lick the Aqua Velva off his neck
Michael Scherer: What you missed while watching "Oprah"; Salon watches the latest Republican debate (economy special) so you don't have to. Chevron down! Alcoa up! And Fred Thompson goes public.
SNL Skit On Fred Thompson