Retro Garlic: Straighten Up and Fly Right

Off we go into the wild blue yonder,
Climbing high into the sun;
Here they come zooming to meet our thunder,
At 'em boys, Give 'er the gun! (Give 'er the gun hey!)
Down we dive, spouting our flame from under,
Off with one hell of a roar!*
We live in fame or go down in flame. Hey!
Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force!

Well, at least two big cheeses of the U.S. Air Force will be making that "wild blue yonder" journey, right out the door, courtesy of Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates.

Air Force Chief, Secretary Resign (Updated Yet Again)

But, according to Air Force Times, "the last straw appears to be a [damning] report on nuclear weapons handling... [that] critical report convinced Gates that changes must be made." That's the reason Gates gave reporters, in a Pentagon press conference today. But it might just have been the excuse he needed to can a pair of bureaucratic adversaries -- read on.

The service inadvertently shipped "four high-tech electrical nosecone fuses for Minuteman nuclear warheads were [t]o Taiwan in place of helicopter batteries. The mistake was discovered in March — a year and a half after the erroneous shipment," The New York Times reports. "The mishandling of the nosecone fuses was viewed as another indication of lack of discipline within America’s nuclear infrastructure, and was another embarrassment for the people in charge of those weapons."

Last fall, the Air Force's 5th Bomb Wing lost track of six nuclear warheads. Then, in mid-May, the service flunked a nuclear surety inspection, when security personnel couldn't even be bothered to stop playing videogames on their cellphones. Now, it looks like Moseley and Wynne has some serious time to play with themselves.

From The NYT;

Never before has a defense secretary ousted both a service secretary and a service chief, according to senior Pentagon officials. Since taking office 18 months ago, Mr. Gates has made accountability of theme of his tenure. He has also fired senior Army officials, after disclosures of shoddy conditions at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, the service’s premier medical facility for wounded soldiers.

“Our policy is clear,” Mr. Gates said. “We will ensure the complete physical control of nuclear weapons, and we will properly handle the associated components at all times. It is a tremendous responsibility, and one we must and will never take lightly.”

I'm sure these two must think of this action as totally unfair.

They only screwed up five or six nukes ...

Meanwhile, Golden Boy Petraeus loses nearly 200,000 rifles and pistols, and he gets bumped up the ladder!

The injustice!

Oh Yeah, the Retro part;

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons How Air Force Mistakenly Flew 5 Nuclear Warheads Across Country

Okay Conspiracy Theorists, Break Out The Tinfoil Hats - Nuke Solider Found Dead


Bonus Bonus

Nat King Cole, "Straighten up and fly right"