Tuesday, January 12, 2010

We Couldn't Resist ...

Okay, one quick one ...

We will have more (Oh, such a nice New Years' gift) on Mark "God Made Me Who I Am" McGwire, and his ridiculous, sobbing, ego-boasting interview, on his belated admission that he was a lying cheater, steroid user.

With McGwire's constant referencing of "God", his "God-given talents", "The Man upstairs", "The talents God gave me", well, we half expected to hear this, in the background;

Luther Barnes & The Red Budd Gospel Choir - My God Can Do Anything

Then, what came to mind, is another all-powerful ego entity - Chuck Norris.

And, there's the hysterical "Chuck Norris Facts".

So, with a nod to the lads at CNF, we couldn't resist, and replace "Chuck Norris" with "Mark McGwire";

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Mark McGwire

Mark McGwire doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Mark McGwire has allowed to live

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Mark McGwire

Mark McGwire does not sleep. He waits

Mark McGwire is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right arms

Mark McGwire is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Mark McGwire counted to infinity - twice

When Mark McGwire does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down

If you spell Mark McGwire in Scrabble, you win. Forever

Mark McGwire' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush

Mark McGwire can lead a horse to water AND make it drink

Mark McGwire doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is

Mark McGwire can slam a revolving door

Mark McGwire does not get frostbite. Mark McGwire bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Mark McGwire hit a homerun

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