Showing posts with label Baseball Congress Steroids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baseball Congress Steroids. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal

Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone
Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA
Sources have told The Garlic that Major League Baseball is expected to announce this week that San Francisco Giant slugger Barry Bonds has tested positive, with results showing “high levels” of Floyd Landis testosterone in his system.
This comes on the heels of today’s news that Landis’ second test has come up positive, showing evidence of synthetic, not naturally produced testosterone.
Landis, winner of this years’ Tour de France, said last week, defending himself against the charges after the first test showed over double the level of testosterone, that he runs “naturally high levels” and that the second test would absolve him.
Baseball, Congress, and Steroids
With the furor growing over steroid usage, Congress held hearings last year, following revelations by former baseball star Jose Canseco, in his book, “Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits and How Baseball Got Big”. In the book, Canseco offered that steroids were “as prevalent in the late 1980s and 1990s as a cup of coffee."
The House Government Reform Committee grilled former and current baseball stars, including Canseco, former Canseco teammate Mark McGwire, Baltimore Orioles stars Rafael Palmeiro, and Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling. Chicago White Sox' Frank Thomas gave video testimony.
Bonds, it has been reported, began using steroids after the 1998, and watching McGwire and Sosa thrill baseballs fans with a heated homerun race, in which McGwire ended up shattering the long-held record of former New York Yankee Roger Maris, passing Maris at 61 and finishing the season with 70 homeruns.
In 2001, Bonds broke Mark McGwire’s single-season home-run record by clubbing 73.
Last year, Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig established an independent investigation into steroid use in Major League Baseball, appointing former Senator George Mitchell to lead the case
The Mitchell Investigation, as reported by The Garlic, got off to a rocky start, when misfiled papers led to Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI) censuring Barry Bonds, and Major League Baseball, and the Mitchell, looking into President Bush’s illegal wiretapping.
Landis, Allegedly, Head of Ring Selling Own Testosterone
The positive test of Landis’ testosterone opens up a new front in the steroid investigation, as Landis had already been eyed, according to Antonio Ricci, publisher of “Pedaling Piss”, the quarterly magazine that tracks professional cycling, and all the steroid rumors, scandals and confirmations of illegal substance usage.
“There have been rumors,” said Ricci, “that Landis was the head of a ring that was selling his own testosterone. It was said to be very substantial, very lucrative.”
Ricci said that cycling officials looking into the Landis DNA Ring, as it was known inside the cycling universe, didn’t see any traces of it seeping out of cycling.
“They just, kind of, pushed it off to the side,” added Ricci.
Now, with Landis testing positive, and Bonds testing positive for Landis’ testosterone, it’s likely, said Ricci, that the cycling officials will team up with the Mitchell investigation team, to compare notes and see if it leads any further into baseball.
Bonds Said To Be Seeking DNA From Powerful Leaders
There was no comment from Bonds on the test results showing he had Landis’ testosterone.
Sources close to the San Francisco Giants report that Bonds was getting “desperate” and “taking chances”, obsessed with getting the all-time homerun record this year.
Bonds is chasing history, going after Hank Aaron’s record of 755. Bonds currently sits at 722.
There have been unconfirmed reports and rumors that Bonds has been canvassing around the country and world, for the DNA and testosterone of other powerful people, including actress Lindsey Lohan, Cuban Leader Fidel Castro, Google founders, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, and U.S. President George Bush
Supposedly, Bonds had an agreement with Academy-Award-winning actor and director Mel Gibson, but cancelled the deal for Gibson’s testosterone after discovering Gibson’s alcoholism, Anti-Semitism and penchant for run-ins with law enforcement
Baseball and Steroids On The Garlic









San Francisco Giant slugger Barry Bonds may soon start swinging the bat with his legs, after testing positive for Tour de France winner Floyd Landis’ testosterone in his system

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Politics and Sports Collide

Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush
Bush Confused, Blames Iraqi Sectarian Violence On “Designated Bombers”; Cheney Hails NFL, Says TD Dances In Final Throes
With Congress’s look into the steroid scandal in Major League Baseball last year still, technically, open, it appears paperwork filed recently, to allow former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell to investigate the issue at the behest of Commissioner Bud Selig, may have been misfiled and is causing a domino effect of comedic errors.
Because of the paperwork mix-up, Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI) is now attempting to censure San Francisco Giant Barry Bonds, with Mitchell and Major League Baseball examining President Bush’s unauthorized use of wiretaps.
Upon hearing the news, in Mexico, for immigration talks with Mexican President Vicente Fox, President Bush became confused over the news, telling reporters that the increase in sectarian violence in Iraq is due to, not continued U.S. presence in the country, but through the influence of baseball, with “the terrorists using designated bombers.”
“It wasn’t that long ago,” added the President, himself, a former baseball team owner , “that you knew the army you were facing, you knew the starting team.”
Forged “Niagara Papers” Found
Feingold said he was nonplaused by the mix-up, saying that “this is still a very serious issue and we need to hold people accountable for it.”
The Wisconsin senator is expected to grill Bonds in upcoming hearings, concentrating on, among other things, the newly found “Niagara Papers”, forged documents that may shed light on charges that Bonds, and other major league players who used steroids, had them smuggled in from Canada.
Feingold is also expected to call to the hearings to give testimony, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and former Secretary of State Colin Powell.
According to sources close to Feingold’s office, the reports and statements from Powell and Rice, during the build-up to launching the invasion of Iraq, the talk of “aluminum tubes” may have been code for White House staffers shooting up steroids.
The focus will be on Special White House Counsel Karl Rove and Under Secretary for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs Karen Hughes, who sources say, their names kept coming up during the investigation of the “Niagara Papers”, and during Bond’s Grand Jury case.
Bonds could be first major leaguer censured and, if it goes to the full Senate, the first impeached.
Mitchell: Can’t Have Illegal Wiretap Tapes Tarnishing Baseball
Mitchell’s investigation will center on the continued abuses of President Bush, in ordering unauthorized wiretaps of American citizens. The former Senator has the mandate from Commissioner Selig to “follow the evidence wherever it leads.”
“One of the areas I’ll be looking at,” said Mitchell, “is if any ballplayers were illegally wiretapped, and, if so, what is the status of those tapes, how is the information being used. We can’t have these tapes out there, possibly tarnishing the game of baseball.”
Selig, in announcing Mitchell, indicated that the penalties could be harsh.
“If we find the President violated the law, acted illegally,” said Selig, “then the consequences could range that the Bush Administration would be have an asterisk next to their policies and bills, to being barred from baseball, possibly going up to being banned from Hall of Fame.”
Cheney Out of Touch, Says Touchdown Dances “In The Last Throes”
Back in Washington, charges that the Bush Administration is “out of touch” with the country were flamed anew, after Vice President Dick Cheney was asked to comment on the developments Mitchell and Feingold’s investigations.
“'I think they're in the last throes, if you will, these touchdown dances."
In a related matter, Washington Post reporter, and Bush legacy author, Bob Woodward said, in defense of Vice President Cheney, that he knew the NFL was going to ban excessive touchdown dances “over two-years ago” but chose not to write about it, out of fear of “upsetting the fervently loyal Washington Redskins fans.”
















Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's name has come up around the discovery of the "Niagara Papers", forged documents that may show steroids being smuggled in from Canada to Major League baseball players