Friday 13 May 2005

Washington Bombshell On U.N. Post
Bush Ready To Pull Bolton; Will Nominate Dave Chappelle

Senate Says They'll Vote "Up, Down and Sideways" For Comedy Central Star; Bolton Goes Ballistic

Before the extremely rare procedure of sending a presidential nominee to the floor for a vote - without a recommendation - had all the heads talking, word came out - unofficially - from the White House that President Bush is ready to pull the plug on John Bolton and will send to the hill Comedy Central's no-show star, Dave Chappelle to be the U.S. Ambassador at the United Nations.

This is a stunning setback and embarrassment - twice in one day - for the career diplomat Bolton.

When the rumor reached Bolton, who was dining at a DC restaurant, witnesses say he went 'ballistic', screaming and shouting, tipping over tables before associates could hustle him from the premises.

"He was boiling mad", offered one diner who witnessed the rampage. "He was stomping around, knocking over tables, swearing … It was pretty shocking … As they were pulling him outside, he kept saying 'that bastard Andy Card', over and over …"

In the Senate, both sides of the aisle were surprised, and skeptical, scurrying staff members to track down White House officials to verify the rumor.

The choice of Dave Chappelle, one of Comedy Central's biggest stars, caught senators off-guard.

"I haven't seen his show", admitted Senate Leader, Bill Frist. "I'll have to have them send me some videotape I can review"

Frist was out on bail, following his arrest on violation of the Patriot Act on Wednesday (See The Garlic, 10 May 2005 - Dems Seek Arrest, Charges of Senate Leader Frist, and Others),

Senator Joe Biden, a member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee who voted against nominating Bolton, thought it was "a great choice".

"I watched the show all the time … Hysterical … Very funny young man … I think he'll do a great job up there".

Sen. Lincoln Chafee (R-RI), another committee member, who said his "children and grandchildren watch it" predicted the full Senate would vote "up, down and sideways" for the talented Chappelle.

What could be a problem for the White House is Chappelle's contract with Comedy Central. It has been reported the network paid as much as $50-Million to secure the 'Chappelle Show' for, at least, two additional seasons.

Comedy Central just announced last week that they are postponing the start of the show's third season, which had a May 31 broadcast date, primarily due to that Chappelle has disappeared and no one from the show knows where he is.

The magazine 'Entertainment Weekly' is reporting that Chappelle has checked himself into a mental health facility in South Africa and that the show has taped a few skits but, with production stopped, they don't have enough for a full show

Sources close to the White House say that, when it appeared that Bolton was going to go down in committee, the Bush team began vetting new candidates and, in selecting Chappelle, have him in a undisclosed DC hotel and will present him to the Senate within the next few days.

Officials at Comedy Central declined comment on losing one of their stars to the United Nations. One anonymous staffer sent an email saying, in part that " … he's now fair game for the 'Daily Show' …"

Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV), who earlier in the day, had a "constitutional headbutt" with Senate Leader Frist, over the prospects of the showdown looming over the Bush Administrations judicial nominations was asked how he would vote on the U.N., Ambassador.

"What's that name again - David Chapel?"