Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: What Jilted Fiancés Can Do If Your Bride-To-Be Runs Away

10. Good excuse to blow off work and sleep late

9. Time to try on her hot red dress that you've been dying for; If caught, act distraught that she's gone

8. Favorite breakfast you haven't had since you met her - Cheerios and beer

7. Realize you're in the clear - she'll never know now that it was a fake diamond

6. Okay to bring in your favorite old, smelly barker lounger from the garage and back into the house

5. Crack open the beers and click on to the Pay-Per-View Adult Section

4. Now you can hit on that cute little blonde that just joined the Bible Study group

3. Act outraged, just enough, that the police consider you a suspect so you can sell your story to 'Hard Copy'

2. Give the press the absolute worst photos of your bride-to-be to use for publication

1. Put a few calls into Tom DeLay and Bill Frist … Just in case she turns up in a persistent vegetative state

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