Monday 13 June 2005

Bush To Merge Two Agenda Items To Get Approval

Private Patriot Acts For Those Who Open Private SS Savings Accounts

With his approval ratings dropping, with more American's disapproving of the War in Iraq, and the lack of RSVP's from terrorist groups so he can map out his next years' actions on the War Against Terror, President Bush plans on merging his most recent efforts, two agenda items, as a means to fast-track their approval.

The White House will announce this week that, in pushing for the President's plan for the changes in the Social Security system, he will offer individual, customized Private Patriot Acts to those who open a private, Social Security Savings Account.

"The President believes", offered Press Secretary Scott McClellan, "that he can make better use of his time and schedule by combining the two agenda items. He can cover more ground, stretch more truths and otherwise obfuscate both issues".

It will be like having your own 'Letters of Transit'", joked McClellan, referring to the popular Humphrey Bogart movie, 'Casablanca', "for when they 'round up the usual suspects".

The American public hasn't rushed to embrace President Bush's rhetoric or plans for changes in the Social Security System, Other critics have charged that the administration has used misleading projections, that paint a bleaker picture of the system than what actual exists.

While that agenda item stalls, the President has had to go out an lobby for Congress to extend, and add to, the Patriot Act.

As reported by The Garlic last week (10 June 2005 - Bush Lobbies For Patriot Act), the President, as a means to add leverage to his lobbying, has sent questionnaires out to the world's terrorist groups, so that he can show the need for Congress to pass the legislation, and in the process, extend 16 provisions that will expire by the years' end. Additionally, the President is expected to move those 16 sunset provisions into the Clear Skies Act if Congress fails to pass the bill.

As to the Private Patriot Act for new subscribers to opening of Private Social Security Savings Account, McClellan indicated the President feels that will be "easy to pull off".

McClellan said that the core Act that will be in it and, depending on the size of the initial deposit, there'll be a menu of options that can be added to customize it.

"For instance, we can offer a waiver on a search of their medical records, or books they've taken out of the library. If they have the misfortune of being deemed an 'enemy combatant', we can allow them to have a lawyer".

"I know I'm going to get one", admitted McClellan. 'When you see how powerful this Patriot Act is, just how many of our rights it strips away, I sure want to have a lawyer on my side".


New York Back In Olympic Running With Stadium For Mets

National Leaguers Must Rep USA In 2012 Games For Deal To Go Through

Late last night, Mayor Michael Bloomberg put New York back in the running for the 2012 Olympic Games with a proposal that will build a new stadium in Queens for the New York Mets, and, if they win the bid, be the centerpiece for the Olympics.

Also, contingent to winning the rights to host the Games, the Mets would represent the USA in the Olympics. Bloomberg worked throughout the weekend to secure approval from Major League Baseball and the U.S. Olympic Committee.

The new stadium would be ready and open in 2009 and, with having the Mets be the USA team, they will avoid having to vacate the stadium for the Olympics, working the Olympic schedule along with their National League schedule.

"We could have some interesting Day/Night doubleheaders", offered Mets owner Fred Wilson.

"It might not be the 'Dream Team'" said Bloomberg, "but we'll do what it takes to get these Games here in New York City."

Bloomberg was dealt a blow last week when the New York Assembly would not approve the plan for the renovation of the West Side Project, that included a stadium for the Olympics. Also, the IOC was leery about placing the Games in New York after the Russell Crowe incident, where the actor hurled a telephone at a hotel employee (see The Garlic , 7 June 2005, NYC Stadium Plan Dealt Double Blows)

In working the deal this weekend, Bloomberg first approached George Steinbrenner about using Yankee Stadium for the Olympics but, according to the Mayor, Steinbrenner's demands could not be accommodated.

"He wanted the Yankees, of course, to represent the USA and he wanted a ton of cash, plus the ability to sign players during the Olympics. Literally, a guy could be pitching for Cuba one day, and the Yankees the next if we went with his plan".

Both Wilson and Bloomberg would neither confirm or deny the rumor that the Mets will sit down pitching ace, Pedro Martinez and keep him off the roster until the 2012 Games.