10. He knows who beat-up the whistleblower in New Mexico and he's contacted them about Howard Dean
9. He's working on, before the end of his term, to have his head become as large as Jack Germond's
8. Not only is he against closing Gitmo, he's planning on taking the Misses there for a little romantic getaway soon
7. Got the Paris Hilton commercial Tivo'd and watches it as often as he can in his secret bunker
6. He's really Pro-Choice and For Same-Sex Marriages
5. He knows, deep in his bones, the WMD's are still sitting there somewhere in Iraq
4. If the Senate gets stalled, he has a bill he'll introduce to outsource the courts over to Haliburton
3. Disagrees with Howard Dean; In his heart, he, and a lot of other Republicans, are really Black Baptists
2. Sometimes, when waking up from a nap and seeing himself on TV, he gets the bejeezes scared out of him
1. Until the War On Terror is over, he'll continue pissing on a Koran everyday
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