Breaking News - Bush Going After Eulogizers!

Justice Department Launching Investigation Into Reverend Lowery, Mrs, King

Need To Find Leak and How They Knew Of No WMD's; Other Eulogizers May Be Questioned

The Garlic has learned today the Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, and the Justice Department, from the express direction of President Bush, will pursue charges against Reverand Joseph Lowery and the late Corretta Scott King.

The announcement is to come this weekend, under the new White House's New Media Plan, with it being released in a small market newspaper and by a private citizen. Sources tell The Garlic that both the newspaper and citizen haven't been determined yet, but will likley be "in the Mid-West somewhere."

"It's a long, holiday weekend," said the source, "so there may be additional delay in it hitting the wires."

The charges are reported to be the unauthorized release of classified material, and, potentially, treason and/or being deemed an enemy combatant.

President Bush directed Gonzales and the Justice Department to look into Lowery, and the late Mrs. King, following the funneral, where the President was blasted and heavily criticized by a number of eulogizers, including Lowery, and former President Jimmy Carter.

"They are still considering," added the source, who works on Capital Hill, "on possible indicting Carter as well."

The Justice Department is said to have "reams of evidence", including possible wiretaps, and the video of Lowery saying, openly;

"We know now there were no weapons of mass destruction over there. But Correta knew and we know that there are weapons of misdirection right down here. Millions without health insurance. Poverty abounds. For war billions more but no more for the poor."

The White House lashed back the following day, with White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan declaring that "President Bush believes that hindsight alone is not wisdom and eulogies are not a strategy."

"They want to find out," said the source, "if there's a new leak, or, if Cheney, or someone else okayed the release of this classified information… Or, if Lowery and Mrs. King has been giving aid to our enemies. The President is still pretty steamed about this and wants someone's head for it."

More details of the charges will emerge, once the new White House Media Strategy is triggered for the second time.

The first use of it came this past week, with the shooting of Harry Whittington by fellow hunter, Vice President Dick Cheney, when they set into motion a private citizen releasing the news of the shooting to her local paper.

Host and ranch owner where the shooting occurred, Katharine Armstrong, called the Corpus Christi Caller-Times to give an eye-witness account of the mishap, under the approval and direction of Vice President Cheney.

In his first public appearance and accounting of the shooting, on Fox News yesterday, Cheney defended the new White House Media Strategy, saying " … And I thought that was the right call"

When questioned what he thought about it now, following a firestorm of inquires from the national media, as well as members of his own Republican Party, Cheney said "Well, I still do. I still think that the accuracy was enormously important."

In a related matter, Washington Post reporter, and author, Bob Woodward said today that he knew about "Cheney shooting someone" over two-years ago, but chose to remain quiet about it.

"To be honest, I was sitting on a lot of other stories at the time and, I guess, I just lost track of them."

Edna and Marie St. Pierre, sisters, of Maple Grove, Minnesota, are rumored to be the next private citizens to release breakings news from the Bush Administration, under their new White House Media Plan