Reports Show Iraqis Confused; Can’t Find “Road To Democracy”
Google Maps Comes Up Empty; Scores of Thousands Say Adds “Hours” On To Their Travels
As President Bush continues along with his Bushapalooza Tour, attempting to lift continuing plummeting approval numbers, and leading the chorus of voices from the Administration that Iraq is not engaged in a Civil War, a new problem has surfaced.
Reports coming out of
“We look and look,” said one Iraqi citizen. “Many areas have been torn apart by bombs and fighting, so, maybe the street signs haven’t been put back up yet.”
“It sound like a wonderful place,” said an Iraqi woman, traveling by bicycle. “I have many map books, but I can not find this road and I get very tired just riding around to nowhere.”
McClellan Charges Media Reporting On Streets, “The one’s with fighting and IED’s”
White House Spokesman Scott McClellan admitted that the Administration is aware of the issue, and took another shot at the media.
“You have to understand,” said McClellan, “You have over 11-million people who are used to getting their news from one, government controlled source. From a dictator and torturer, who had weapons of mass destruction and ties to Al-Qaeda. And now they have all kinds of media available to them – when there is electricity – at their fingertips.”
“ There’s, basically, two realities– the old
“Of course,” McClellan went on, “the media is going to concentrate on the streets the Iraqis can’t find, the ones with fighting and IED’s, instead of reporting on the wonderful, heartwarming streets the Iraqis have access to, and can walk down. The President remains very optimistic that the Iraqis will have the freedom to walk down all the streets”
Rumsfeld: “Goodness, it’s there, large as life”
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld weighed in on the troubles that have been reported about finding the Road to Democracy.
“Goodness, it’s there, large as life, as big on the noses on their faces,” said the Secretary. “For the life of me, I don’t understand how they can be missing it. It’s almost inconceivable that such a situation exists.”
Pentagon spokesperson Navy Lieutenant Commander J.D. Gordon conceded that both the Defense and State Departments have been “besieged” recently, over where the Road to Democracy is. Gordon stated that even members of the new Iraq Government have been calling, saying that even using Google Maps, the location cannot be found.
“Apparently, Google Maps, and even Thomas Guides, don’t list the location,” Gordon said.
New Lincoln Group Contract For “
Gordon would not confirm or deny the reports that the Lincoln Group, the PR firm contracted by the Defense Department to plant pro-American stories in the Iraqi media, are working on a new map layout of
“Lincoln Group is in there,” offered Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century.
“They’re redoing all the maps in the city, giving new names to places, like “
Possible Evidence of Iranian-Named Streets
Martins said that there is concern from the commanders in
“That dog-and-pony show they did last week, Operation Swarmer, or whatever it was.” said Martins, “Well the scuttlebutt is that they found a cache of street signs – written in an Iranian dialect – and that has them scrambling back in Washington.
Martins says that President Bush is giving this his full attention.
“He’s talking about bringing
McClellan said that the President “is aware of the situation.”
“The President remains committed and is not going to abandon his commitment, “ said McClellan. “We have to establish for the Iraqis, this Road to Democracy and continue the battle. It’s better for the terrorists to be naming streets over there, then naming them here.”
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