News Item: Katie Couric, Thinking About Tomorrow
10. Discovers that Cheney Aide David Addington screens all the CBS Evening News stories
9. The women from “The View” are waiting backstage to kick the snot out of her
8. Not wanting to see her go, Matt Laurer turns show into a live, on-air Intervention
7. 60-Minutes staff tells her the only contribution she’ll be making to program is starting the stop watch
6. Finds out most of what she’ll be doing at CBS Evening News is reading fake Bush Administration news reports
5. Ex-American Idol contestant Corey Clark opens MySpace.Com account and claims he’s having an affair with her
4. Charlie Gibson changes his mind and now wants CBS anchor job
3. Gets word CBS is changing her job – She’s now the Chief Baghdad Correspondent
2. Jennifer Love Hewitt whispers to her during commercial break that there are dead people on the CBS news set
1. Too Late! Learns whole deal on her moving over to CBS was a ruse perpetrated by The Yes Men
60-Minutes staff has told Katie Couric that the only contribution she’ll be making to program is starting the stop watch
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