Top Ten Cloves: Ways The Pentagon Plans On Winning Back Western Iraq

News Item: Situation Called Dire in West Iraq; Anbar Is Lost Politically, Marine Analyst Says

10. Who cares? We’re just sitting on it for two years and the next president can figure it out

9. Annex it to Saudi Arabia and let them deal with it

8. Throw’em a curveball - Institute for the Anbar Province the U.S. Office of Special Counsel Dress Code and then just sit back and watch the fur fly

7. Hey stuff happens... We’ll have it cleaned up in a few months and they’ll be greeting us with flowers

6. Until we win it back, we just under-report the casualty count and the White House can claim progress is being made

5. You don’t build a democracy with the Western Iraq that you want, you build a democracy with the Western Iraq that you have

4. Straight from the RNC Playbook - Start labeling the Anbar insurgents as “soft on terrorism” and that they’ll just “cut-and-run” and watch them cower and fold up like a cheap tent

3. Iraqi Congress passes the “Clear Anbar Act” so it would mandate Al Qaeda to reduce the number of insurgents in the area

2. Get Halliburton in there as the Food Service Contractor and their contaminated water will bring Al Qaeda down in a matter of days

1. We’ll replicate our own history: Throw in a Homestead Act, build a railroad and place all the Native Iraqis in reservations

You don’t build a democracy with the Western Iraq that you want, you build a democracy with the Western Iraq that you have