Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 18 February 2007

A missed opportunity was announced by the campaign of Senator Hillary Clinton. A spokesperson indicated that Senator Clinton was prepared to admit that her vote on the Iraq War was a mistake, but due to the rare Saturday Senate Session, she had to cancel the announcement. The spokesperson said that, due to an already overbooked schedule, Senator Clinton doesn't know when she will be able to get to it, if at all.












President Bush downplayed the removal of two moles on Friday, that turned out to be benign, saying it was little more than "Ek-A-Lec-Tic surgery"













Britney Spears announced today, in an effort to dispell all the rumors, that there was a specific reason she shaved her head.

Ms. Spears indicated that she had lost a bet with a close friend, being she was "dead sure" the E.F.P.'s (explosively formed penetrators) found in Iraq were from Syria, and and not from Iran, as President Bush and his Administration have claimed.












In a profound ironic twist, lawyers for former Aid to President Bush and Vice President Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, sheepishly admitted today that they rested their defense without calling Libby to the stand because they were "completely overburdened and just forgot".












JetBlue, in an effort to stem the criticism from cancelling flights and leaving their customers stranded for days, announced that they have "TIVO'd" all the DirectTV programming they offer on their flights, so that their customers "won't miss any of their favorite programs when they begin flying again"