Friday, July 20, 2007

Developing Story! A Livid Cheney Moves To Place Chertoff Guts Under Wraps

Future Intestinal Prognostications To Be Kept Secret; Brings In Former U.N Ambassador For Extra Tongue Lashing

Against the backdrop of a report shedding light of Vice President Dick Cheney's Energy Task Force, as well as new intelligence reports regarding Al Qaeda readying to attack the United States again, as well as a new, extraordinary move by the Bush Grindhouse in claims of Executive Privilege, an incident has come to light, over national security, involving Cheney, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff and, former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton.

In yet another example of the unprecedented and extraordinary secrecy the Bush Grindhouse has conducted the nation's affairs, sources tell The Garlic that Cheney is citing, since gases are formed in a person's "gut", re Chertoff's "gut feelings", and gases being a form of energy, this would fall under Cheney's Energy Task Force and any information from it would be classified and unavailable for any overview.

Last week, before the Homeland Security Secretary gave his now infamous interview with the Chicago Sun-Times, that he was repeatedly badgered and harassed by the Vice President's office.

There was a rumor circulating on the Hill that Chertoff was merely suffering from indegestion, that he had a upset stomach, but that Cheney, along with his Chief of Staff David Addington, made repeated visits to Chertoff, seeking more and more information from Chertoff's gut.

Sources tell The Garlic that, on a subsequent visit by Cheney and Addington, former Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton was accompanying the pair and, after entering Chertoff's office, Bolton could be heard, very loudly, screaming, yelling and berating Chertoff.

The White refused to comment on the story, indicating that they would invoke Executive Privilege regarding their refusal to comment, but did issue a statement that they are not anticipating exposing any covert CIA agents over the Chertoff Gut matter.

"Hey There! ... Hi! ... Yeah, Fuck You! ... Executive Privilege! ...How Ya Doin'! ...We Don't Have To Say Anything! ...Hey There! ... Blow It Out Your Ass! ... Executive Privilege! ..."

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