Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Cue The Pinhead ... Operation Proposition Penquin About To Launch

No doubt, Mr. Ultimate Pinhead, along with, most likely, a bevy of other dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds, Freak Show Flying Monkeys, and maybe even the Mormons, will be up-in-arms, convinced society is going down the drain, and the End of Days are approaching at warp speed.

Gay penguins expelled from zoo colony for stealing eggs are given their own to look after following animal rights protest

A pair of gay penguins thrown out of their zoo colony for repeatedly stealing eggs have been given some of their own to look after following a protest by animal rights groups.

Last month the birds were segregated after they were caught placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their eggs.

But angry visitors to Polar Land in Harbin, northern China, complained it wasn't fair to stop the couple from becoming surrogate fathers and urged zoo bosses to give them a chance.

[Snip ...]

In response, zookeepers gave the pair two eggs laid by an inexperienced first-time mother.

'We decided to give them two eggs from another couple whose hatching ability had been poor and they've turned out to be the best parents in the whole zoo,' said one of the keepers.

[Snip ...]

Wildlife experts at the park explain that despite being gay the three-year-old male birds are still driven by an urge to be fathers.

'One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite the fact that they can't have eggs naturally, it does not take away their biological drive to be a parent,' said one.
Of course, Lou Dobbs will go absolutely crazy, wailing at this, shaking his fist, clamoring over these "Communist China Penguins", encouraging some nitwit congressman or senator to immediately draft a bill, banning any such actions at zoos here in this country.

No necessarily, because they are "gay" penguins, but rather, they are "Communist China penguins".

Gay Pet Adoption in the next, 2012, Republican plank?

You can almost here the printer spitting it out right now (Don Surber is already strengthening his manhood over it)

And Newt Gingrich can run straight to Faux News, and commiserate with the Ultimate Pinhead, expanding his previous fiat, that is it now grown to be an "International gay and secular fascism that wants to impose its will on the rest of us."
You know Bill, if they can kowtow to gay penguins in Communist China, what's to stop them from taking our babies here, and giving them over to homosexual couples? ... You'll see that here, soon enough ... Some homosexual couple will go to court, and the liberal judges will just hand over the babies ...
(Ultimate Pinhead shakes his head, throws his hands up in the air)
You're right! ... You're right! ... And you can trace it back to their War on Christmas... Communists don't celebrate Christmas ... Here ... Take the babies ... Give'em to the gays ... Happy Holiday, pal ..."

Moral of the story?

Birds of a feather ...

Bonus Flightless Bird Riffs

Elyas Bakhtiari: March of the Gay Penguins

Andy in China: Gay Penguins 'Best Parents in the Zoo' According to Keepers

"Prop 8 - The Musical"

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