Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Morning Joke Sponsor Starbucks Lacerating Its' Customers

“Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers”

Tom Lehrer, from his song, "New Math"

You would expect, after you purchase over-priced coffee, and, additionally, a grinding machine (possibly getting price-gouged as well) from the same people, that you could safely grind your beans, and have bandage-free digits in which to hold your mug (with said company's logo, another big chunk of change you put out) to drink it.

Well, the new Morning Joke sponsor, Starbucks, has a bit of a PR problem today;
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission - Laceration Hazard Prompts Recall by Starbucks of Coffee Grinders; Made by Tsann Kuen

Hazard: The grinder can fail to turn off or can turn on unexpectedly, posing a laceration hazard to consumers.
From the Boston Business Journal;

Starbucks recalling 530,000 coffee grinders
Starbucks Corp. said it’s recalling 530,000 Chinese-made coffee grinders it sold for the past seven years, with some products not turning off or turning on unexpectedly and causing lacerations to some owners who were cleaning the grinders

According to Seattle-based Starbucks (NASDAQ: SBUX) and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, the products being recalled include the Starbucks Barista Blade Grinder and Seattle’s Best Coffee Blade Grinder, both sold from March 2002 to March 2009 and made by Tsann Kuen (Zhangzhou) Enterprise Co. Ltd. of China.

Could make watching Morning Joke a bit more interesting, looking, replaying the TIVO, checking to see if there are any nicked, stitched, or bandaged fingers.

Then again, would/will Morning Joke report this news?

Maybe they could, and have Thomas "My Head Is Flat" Friedman come on, and explain how in a global economy, undoubtedly, after showing of a clip of Friedman on Charlie Rose, expounding on the great cup of coffee he had, in some India slum, checking out the next, great wave of coffee grinders that will be ubiquitous, thanks to his books and the flat global economy, and that any of the other coffee grinders he hasn't shilled in his book, or television appearances, can "Suck On This", and wallow in being loser victims in his flat global economy.

Perhaps, as part of the sponsorship, they can have Mr. Gadget as a guest, and actually, live, on camera, grind Starbucks coffee beans, in a recalled Starbucks Coffee Grinder, and, assuming he keeps all his fingers, Morning Joke & Co. can inveigh against government intrusion, hampering good entrepreneurial companies, like ... (drumroll, please) ... Starbucks!

Oh yeah, you gotta juice-the-guy-you-gotta-juice, so, the entire panel will be wearing Starbucks t-shirts.

Bonus Morning Joke Riffs

Morning Joke and Starbucks ... Two Peas In A Non-Union Pod

Hey Morning Joke, Cheetos Are Made By A Successful Union Company!

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