Retro Garlic: Governor Gaucho Riding Off Into The Sunset

"Oh woe is me ..."

That about sums up the lenghty outpouring today of the former Governor Gaucho, the Appalachian-Hiking, Secret-Brazilian-Lover Mark Sanford of South Carolina.

He took to Facebook to annouce calling off his pending wedding to that Secret Brazilian Lover, fiancée María Belén Chapur, and rambles through the Fields of Elysia, giving a H/T to God in airing the dirty laundry of his divorce proceedings.

A snippet from his Appalachian-long Facebook post;

"...She wanted full control of their custodial accounts which were very significant in size, I gave it. I did these things for two reasons. One, because my good friend Cubby Culbertson had reminded me that it was all God's - and if he wanted you to have more, you would…and if he wanted you to have less, you would have less. He accordingly strongly advised against spending money and time and controversy fighting over things that God ultimately controlled ... "

To which the kids over on Gawker have some advise for Sanford;

"Lawyers, alas, may actually be more powerful than God."

He tells of his ex-wife putting demands on him, like drug and alcohol testing and this;

" ...Finally, Jenny and her lawyer also go on to ask me to undertake an array of programs and evaluations, each one more riveting than the next ..."

Without using the actual word, acting as a martyred Eddie Haskell, our former Governor Gaucho is actually calling his ex-wife a bitch

With a woe-is-me-smile, and heavy heart.

And, he seems to disengage himself, that all these troubles he's blaming on God, are actually the result of him lying, taking on a Secret Brazilian Lover, and putting on he was hiking the Appalachian Trail, when, in fact, he was flying down, to Rio.


Typical corrupt Republican - it's always someone else's fault.

You can read more about it;

TPM:  Mark Sanford Unloads Custody Battle Details In Agonizing Facebook Post About Breaking Up With His Fiancée

Wonkette:  Mark Sanford Leaves The Appalachian Trail; Also, That Chick He Was Banging   The end of the affair

Oh, the Retro Part;

Governor Gaucho!

Like A Lover