And, In The Coma Department ...

This is even sillier, more "dumb-as-a-doorknob" than that god-awful Sandra Bullock beauty pageant movie.



Miss Universe Visits Guantánamo Bay

Ms. Mendoza, who competed as Miss Venezuela, has a blog on the pageant’s Web site, and this account of the visit appeared there last Friday, after her deployment:

This week, Guantánamo!!! It was an incredible experience.

We arrived in Gitmo on Friday and stared going around the town, everybody knew Crystle and I were coming so the first thing we did was attend a big lunch and then we visited one of the bars they have in the base. We talked about Gitmo and what is was like living there. The next days we had a wonderful time, this truly was a memorable trip! We hung out with the guys from the East Coast and they showed us the boat inside and out, how they work and what they do, we took a ride around the land and it was a loooot of fun!

We also met the Military dogs, and they did a very nice demonstration of their skills. All the guys from the Army were amazing with us.

We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting.


We took a ride with the Marines around the land to see the division of Gitmo and Cuba while they were informed us with a little bit of history.

The water in Guantánamo Bay is soooo beautiful! It was unbelievable, we were able to enjoy it for at least an hour. We went to the glass beach, and realized the name of it comes from the little pieces of broken glass from hundred of years ago. It is pretty to see all the colors shining with the sun. That day we met a beautiful lady named Rebeca who does wonders with the glasses from the beach. She creates jewelry with it and of course I bought a necklace from her that will remind me of Guantánamo Bay :)

I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.

Hmmm ... "Didn't want to leave ..."

Well there Miss Universe, you may not realize how lucky you are.

As a native Venezuelan, if you had wanted to visit Gitmo when The Bush Grindhouse was running things, you may have gotten your wish, in an attempt to embarrass your country's leader, getting slapped with an Enemy Combatant label, and warehousing you there for a few years.

Plenty of time to leaf through those art books, I suppose.

Eli, over on Firedoglake, puts it about right;

Yes, I'm sure Gitmo is lovely this time of year... if you're on the outside. And even if you're on the inside, why, it's just like summer camp, but without due process! Awesome!

Start the office pool for when the Lifetime, or "E", Channel movie pops on the screen, of a "Miss Universe", or "Miss World" visits a Gitmo-like place, sees the horrors, leads a frothing campaign against it, falls in love with the young, handsome Senator, and together, they save the world.

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Things Obama Administration Can Do With The Gitmo Prisoners

News Item: President Obama Takes First Steps on Gitmo, Considers How to Go About Re-Balancing the Scales (News & Commentary Round-Up)

10. Letting them keep those orange jumpsuits, trash pickers through the entire U.S. Highway System

9. Have them work the Security Gate, of the Purple Section, at the next Obama Inauguration

8. If you can put about 50 of them together, some city must want a new NFL franchise

7. New Fox Program - Terrorist Idol

6. NBC copycat program - Superstars of Terrorism

5. For the ones profoundly tortured, screen Tyrone Powers' 'Nightmare Alley', and pitch the benefits of being a carnival geek

4. Teach'em to sing, form a choir, and give the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus a run for-the-money

3. Let them all go, using the only five words that will keep them straight - Chuck Norris Will Get You!

2. Hmmmm ... Can you say Mariel Boatlift - The Sequel?

1. Train them, to guard President Obama's Blackberry


Bonus "Shut It Down" Riffs

Media Matters: Media advance falsehood that Pentagon has confirmed that 61 former Guantánamo detainees have returned to battlefield

Dana Priest: Bush's 'War' On Terror Comes to a Sudden End

Myca: President Obama Did Something Good Today - 1/21

bmaz: Obama Drafts Order To Close Gitmo; Suspends Habeas Cases In DC Circuit

It's A Rummy World, After All ...

I suppose, we can update this now;

“You go to war with the torture program you have—not the torture program you might want or wish to have at a later time ..."

In, what will be likely, just another one, in a long line of "I'm shocked ... Shocked to find gambling going on here", a Senate Committee Report lays the torture of detainees on the desk of ol' Mister Snowflakes.

Bipartisan Report: Rumsfeld Responsible for Detainee Abuse; Senate Committee Finds Officials Made Decisions That Led to Offenses Against Prisoners

A bipartisan panel of senators has concluded that former defense secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld and other top Bush administration officials bear direct responsibility for the harsh treatment of detainees at Guantanamo Bay, and that their decisions led to more serious abuses in Iraq and elsewhere.

In the most comprehensive critique by Congress of the military's interrogation practices, the Senate Armed Services Committee issued a report yesterday that accuses Rumsfeld and his deputies of being the authors and chief promoters of harsh interrogation policies that disgraced the nation and undermined U.S. security. The report, released by Sens. Carl M. Levin (D-Mich.) and John McCain (R-Ariz.), contends that Pentagon officials later tried to create a false impression that the policies were unrelated to acts of detainee abuse committed by members of the military.

"The abuse of detainees in U.S. custody cannot simply be attributed to the actions of 'a few bad apples' acting on their own," the report states. "The fact is that senior officials in the United States government solicited information on how to use aggressive techniques, redefined the law to create the appearance of their legality, and authorized their use against detainees."

Nice touch, using Rummy's own words to throw back in his face.

Can't you just see him, squinting, trying to understand this report, making one of his twisted faces, a real, harsh, "You don't know what you're talking about" distortion?

Likely, though Cheney's Weekend Armageddon partner saw this one coming.

That may be why, earlier this year, he called for a new U.S. Propaganda Agency.

Always The Thinker ... Gotta stay one step ahead of 'em...

Expect, in the coming days or weeks, for Rummy to make the grand Fixed News Network tour, touting up the failed policies, and defending his "enhanced interrogations".

They'll yuk it up, blame the report on some administration "dead enders" and shrug it off as "stuff happens".

Perhaps, at his future War Crimes Trial, stuff will happen, the prosecution using some "enhanced justice" against him.

How do ya like them apples, Rummy?


Bonus Rummy Riffs

Brilliant Juan Cole: Rumsfeld, Bush, Implicated in Torture by US Senate

Autumn Sandeen: It's Mostly Rumsfeld's Fault, Apparently

Brilliant at Breakfast: But after all, Jennifer Aniston posed naked and Oprah Winfrey is fat!

Jack Balkin: Armed Services Committee States Obvious: Detention Abuses Started at the Top

Garlic Exclusive! ... Rumsfeld Rolling On with Privatizing Forces ...Base Closings Tied To New U-Haul Self Storage Contract; Deal With National Vendors To Save Billions; Commissioned Officers Can Take Home Vehicles

“They’re coming here for the American experience” ...Rumsfeld Weighs In On Immigration Battle; Won’t Tie It To War With Iran; Suggests Army Recruiting Woes Could Be Solved With Mandatory Service By Illegal Aliens

Top Ten Cloves: What Would Be Different If Rumsfeld Was A Dog, But Still Secretary of Defense

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Cully Stimson's Apology Over His Guantanamo/Lawyers Remarks

News Item: U.S. Official Apologizes for Guantanamo Remarks

10. Felt, with Rumsfeld, and his blunt way of speaking, gone, was his chance to step into the administration limelight

9. Only made apology because he feared Joint Chiefs of Staff were going to write another letter, protesting about him

8. Was looking to get "into the heads" of any Iranian terrorist that we might capture when we invade Iran, that they won't get good lawyers

7. Naked attempt of trying to brown-nose Vice President Dick Cheney

6. Filing protest with President Bush - How come he gets slammed for one comment, when Karl Rove can go around smearing anyone he wants

5. Thought saying lawyers shouldn't do do pro bono work for terrorism suspects might help ease the violence in Iraq

4. Early investigation points towards he was trying to shakedown the lawyers

3. Made comments under duress; Has been edgy over the news of Castro being close to death

2. Really meant to say he was calling for a "surge of lawyers" to hit Gitmo

1. Taking one for the team; Took it upon himself to deflect attention away from the President's speech last week