Too Big To Succeed

I gotta tell ya, it must have sucked to be Bill Gates today, waking up, and finding out one of his former VPs pissed all over his Coke can.

That would be Dick Brass, in an NYT Op-Ed today, writing that Microsoft, for all it's billions, is not much more then a Director's Cut of 'Heathers'.



Microsoft’s Creative Destruction

Microsoft has become a clumsy, uncompetitive innovator. Its products are lampooned, often unfairly but sometimes with good reason. Its image has never recovered from the antitrust prosecution of the 1990s. Its marketing has been inept for years; remember the 2008 ad in which Bill Gates was somehow persuaded to literally wiggle his behind at the camera?

[snip]

For example, early in my tenure, our group of very clever graphics experts invented a way to display text on screen called ClearType. It worked by using the color dots of liquid crystal displays to make type much more readable on the screen. Although we built it to help sell e-books, it gave Microsoft a huge potential advantage for every device with a screen. But it also annoyed other Microsoft groups that felt threatened by our success.

Engineers in the Windows group falsely claimed it made the display go haywire when certain colors were used. The head of Office products said it was fuzzy and gave him headaches. The vice president for pocket devices was blunter: he’d support ClearType and use it, but only if I transferred the program and the programmers to his control. As a result, even though it received much public praise, internal promotion and patents, a decade passed before a fully operational version of ClearType finally made it into Windows.

[snip]

Not everything that has gone wrong at Microsoft is due to internecine warfare. Part of the problem is a historic preference to develop (highly profitable) software without undertaking (highly risky) hardware. This made economic sense when the company was founded in 1975, but now makes it far more difficult to create tightly integrated, beautifully designed products like an iPhone or TiVo. And, yes, part of the problem has been an understandable caution in the wake of the antitrust settlement. Timing has also been poor — too soon on Web TV, too late on iPods.

Ouch!

No doubt, Stevie Ballmer was heaving a few chairs around the office today.



MG Siegler, on Tech Crunch;

Brass’ comments have caused such a fuss, that Microsoft’s vice president of corporate communications was even forced to respond on their official blog. And while obviously Microsoft’s PR team is going to downplay some of Brass’ comments, and refute others with counter examples, the post completely ignores what I see to be Brass’ main point: that Microsoft has become a place with dozens if not hundreds of civil wars going on within the company.

Rob Beschizza, at Boing Boing couldn't help but wonder "Imagine what would happen at Apple if whoever was in charge of iWork set out to suppress development of an iPad version because he didn't believe it was real computer."

Plots haven't been purchased, and headstones have not been engraved, just yet, but Sebastian Rupley, over on Gigacom has '3 Surprise Scenarios for Microsoft’s Future' that Billy and Stevie can mull over.

For there will be no rest for the company "Too Big To Succeed.

Bloomberg says "Google reportedly plans online store" and the Law Librarian Blog toots the trumpet for the soon-to-come "Google Pad, or gPad", singsonging that "I somehow think Google does projects such as a Google based tablet not to make money but to tweak their competitors. A dollar a consumer spends on Google hardware is a dollar not spent on Apple or Microsoft products."

Ah, like the movie;

But as Veronica soon learns, even death cannot stop the HEATHERS. As one Heather dies, her red scrunchee (the symbol of all power) gets passed on to the next Heather in line ...

Bonus MicroSuck Riffs

Law Google Fires Back At Ballmer - Microsoft Omitted From Searches; Google Maps Highlight Home

Breaking News! President Makes Unannounced, Surprise Visit To Redmond Tech Giant ...Bolten Continues White House Sweep; Boots Out Microsoft’s Gates and Bush Speechwriter ...Cites Need To Keep Week’s Momentum Going; Gates Long Tenure and Possible Economic Slump Prompted Action

Top Ten Cloves: Other Surprising Things Found With Microsoft’s New Windows Vista Software

Top Ten Cloves: Surprising Things Found In Microsoft's Windows 7

News Item: Review: Windows 7 Is Microsoft’s Best Yet

10. Obama's Birth Certificate

9. The Lost David Letterman Apologies

8. Not sure how, but everytime you use Windows 7, Goldman Sachs employees get bigger bonuses

7. A robust, public healthcare option

6. Even with add-ons, the whole Windows 7 isn't as as big as that Ralph Lauren model's head

5. Your Windows 7 program may, suddenly, take up war with Faux News

4. A special Jay Leno "!0 at 10" with Bill Gates

3. A weird programming fluke allows you to see the CIA file on Lee Harvey Oswald

2. Falcon Henne, hiding

1. Only out 2-days, and it's already editted the Vista entry on Wikipedia, to say how great it was


Bonus Microsoft Riffs

John Battelle: Ballmer Throws A Chair At "F*ing Google"

Google Fires Back At Ballmer ... Microsoft Omitted From Searches; Google Maps Highlight Home

Breaking News! President Makes Unannounced, Surprise Visit To Redmond Tech Giant

Top Ten Cloves: Other Surprising Things Found With Microsoft’s New Windows Vista Software

Top Ten Cloves: Things Not Anticipated About Grand Canyon Skywalk

News Item: Tribe Set to Open Grand Canyon Skywalk

10. Had to spend millions clearing loose stones from the area

9. Possible bad vibe, as horseshoe design was modeled after one of the late Barbero's shoes

8. Will have to increase security, to keep Bungee Jumpers off the Skywalk

7. Worried that research showed people won't pay $25 to stand on Skywalk, but, from the safety of their homes, using their computers, get same view via Google Earth

6. Perverts flocking to base of Grand Canyon, under the Skywalk, equipped with high-powered zoom lenses

5. Already budget problems - Didn't factor in how much Windex they would need to keep it clean

4. Microsoft serving injunction, preventing them from using the word "Vista" in describing views from Skywalk

3. Talks with Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts, to promote Grand Canyon Skywalk by wearing glass helmets next season, not going well

2. Other Indian casinos taking heavy betting on when glass skywalk cracks or breaks

1. Not sure of the confluence of energy that will take place if Philip Glass and Ira Glass show up on same day to take tour

Links

Grand Canyon Skywalk


Already budget problems - Didn't factor in how much Windex they would need to keep it clean

Top Ten Cloves: Other Surprising Things Found With Microsoft’s New Windows Vista Software

News Item: Vista Flaw Discovered, Risk Believed Low

10. All on his own, Donald Trump announced he’s giving Microsoft a second chance with Vista, which you can see on his “Apprentice” show next month

9. In conjunction with the release, Microsoft suing the City of Chula Vista, so product isn’t associated with “the Cleveland of California”

8. Promises LonelyGirl15 that with Vista, she won’t be lonely any longer

7. Knowing Microsoft’s history, Apple launching a “Frequent Crash Points” program to PC Users; Possible to earn enough to get a Mac

6. While Russian Hackers may be able to break into Vista, Microsoft assuring that there is no threat of Polonium 210 poisoning

5. Former President Ford tried to hang on for the Vista release, but the delays were too much

4. Rep Tom Tancredo (R-CO) misheard the news and has already prepared legislation to shut down Microsoft so they don’t make “Visas for illegal aliens available on the Internet”

3. White House staff had a pool going on what would come first - The release of Vista or Bush’s new Iraq Strategy

2. Bugs and flaws are guaranteed to have you throwing chairs and cursing just like Steve Ballmer

1. Code written into Vista that sends all your data directly to NSA, so they don’t have to bother with the FISA Court or take the time and trouble to tap into you