Top Ten Cloves: Ways NFL Will Tweak Rules In Wake of Plaxico Burress Shooting

News Item: Giants suspend Super Bowl hero Plaxico Burress

10. Everytime announcers say "It's a real duel here today", game stops so they can have a "real duel"

9. NFL.Com soon to offer official team handguns, with your teams' logo on the handle!

8. Draw Plays - Everyone clears out, and it's a shootout between the Quarterback and Middle Linebacker

7. Extra 5-yards tacked onto Crack-Back Blocking penalty, if offending player is carrying a concealed weapon

6. Field goal records broken all day long, as now will be conducted with football-shooting cannon

5. Halftime shows? ... What else, other than Skeet Shooting?

4. Burress's shooting kicks off new trend - Instead of doing end zone dance after scoring touchdowns, players shoot themselves in leg

3. QB's who have a "rifle for an arm" can now carry rifles, holding defense at bay while they complete pass

2. Defensive backs can pistol-whip wide receivers, but only within the first 5-yards from line-of-scrimmage

1. Offenses that run the "Shotgun Offense" can use real, loaded shotguns


Bonus Pistol Plaxico Riffs

Newsday: Cops seek to question Plaxico Burress about shooting

NBC Sports: Police investigating cover-up in Burress case; Teammates Pierce, Bradshaw may be involved in nightclub shooting

New York Times: Police Again Take Issue With N.F.L. in Shooting


Bonus Bonus NFL Riffs

Developing Story! Tancredo: Shut Down Super Bowl; Says Two Black Coaches "Amounts To Segregation"... Appeals To NFL Commissioner To Make Big Game "Color-Blind"; Biden Weighs In, Backs Coaches

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge ... Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Next Door Neighbor May Be Conducting Illegal Dogfights

16-0

Even though I, long ago, stopped being a die-hard, life-revolving-around, sports fan (hey, after the "it's only a game", it becomes really big business) it is, nonetheless, very sweet to see the New England Patriots and their 16-0 perfect season.

I am just old enough to have sat in the bleachers set up in leftfield (in front of the Green Monster), to watch the Boston Patriots, of the AFL, led by Babe Parilli, Jim "Bo" Nance (whose main rival was Buffalo Bill fullback Cookie Gilchrist - "Lookie, Lookie, Here Comes Cookie"), and Gino Cappelletti, at Fenway Park, in the early 60's ... I was at the preseason game in 1969 (or 1970), played at Boston College, when the stands caught fire ... I was at the opening game of 1970 season, played at Harvard Stadium (the year before they moved to Foxborough), when Bob Gladieux, sitting in the stands, drinking and smoking dope, was paged over the PA system to report to the locker room, where he suited up moments before the kickoff.

For much of my youth, and into early adulthood, the word "hapless" was often attached to the Boston/New England Patriots.

And with that experience, it's almost impossible to comprehend the achievements and success of the current team.

While it would be cool for any team to go undefeated, it is rather sweet to watch the Patriots do it.


The 16-0 Links

Sweet 16 - Brady and Moss are an unbeatable combination in comeback against Giants

Jackie MacMullan: Brady and Moss set the records straight

RECORD TRACKER: Marks the Pats set en route to 16-0

16-0! Recapping the Patriots' pursuit of perfection

'72 Dolphins toast achievement

Charles P. Pierce: Winners - Josh Beckett became the ace, Randy Moss is the missing ingredient, and Kevin Garnett is as advertised. Has there ever been a better year to be a Boston sports fan?