Breaking ... Obama To Launch "Clunkers For Nukes"

In a bombshell announcement this morning, President Obama, following up on his successful Nuclear Security Summit, said that an agreement was reached last evening with the other participating 47 countries, and a new "Clunkers for Nukes" program will be launched.



"Legitimate governments, rogue players, terrorists, they're all eligible to turn in their nuclear weapons, or materials, and have their choice of a pre-owned automobile," stated White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, at an unscheduled briefing this morning.

"We have an overstock situation," said Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood.

"We're swimming in used cars ... We lost count, we have so many."

Last year, the Obama Administration instituted a "Cash for Clunkers" program, in an effort to stimulate the economy, and, according to administration officials, was quite successful.



Gibbs further explained, that the "Clunkers for Nukes" program will be scaled, in favor of the client.

"We're offering one car, for every ten-pounds of nuclear material, be it simple, unaltered plutonium, or enhanced, weapons-grade plutonium. It's projected, some potential clients could walk away with three, four, possibly even, five cars with their trade-in."

Gibbs would neither confirm, or deny, that President Obama, in a Rose Garden ceremony, would, symbolically trade in an two old American nuclear warheads, for cars that would be saved for his daughters, when they reach the appropriate age.

News of the "Clunkers for Nukes" program reached the Middle East, as Al Jeezera is reporting that Osama bin Laden is planning on releasing a new audio tape, indicating he is looking for a 1965 Cadillac, and may reach out to U.S. officials.


Bonus Riffs

Top Ten Cloves: Great Things About Obama Taking Over General Motors

What's Good For Tesla Motors ...

Retro Garlic: Is Chrysler Now Adopting The HuffPo Business Plan?

Garlic Poll Results ... "But I Thought We Were Getting A Company Car!"

Well, our revival of The Garlic's Weekly Poll was met with news that, well, let's just say it wasn't a rounding endorsement for taking a seat on Obama's new Presidential Task Force on the Auto Industry;

Auto team drives imports ...Fed task force has few new U.S. cars

The vehicles owned by the Obama administration's auto team could reflect one reason why Detroit's Big Three automakers are in trouble: The list includes few new American cars. 

Among the eight members named Friday to the Presidential Task Force on the Auto Industry and the 10 senior policy aides who will assist them in their work, two own American models. Add the Treasury Department's special adviser to the task force and the total jumps to three.

And the two big cheeses - Secretary of the Treasury Timothy F. Geithner and White House National Economic Council Director Lawrence Summers?

The co-chairs of the task force -- Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner and White House National Economic Council Director Lawrence Summers -- both own foreign automobiles. 

Geithner owns a 2008 Acura TSX, registered in New York. He once owned a 1999 Honda Accord and a 2002 Acura MDX, according to public records. 

Geithner is the president's designee for purposes of enforcing loan agreements with GM and Chrysler and must approve or reject any proposed transactions by either company that would cost $100 million or more. 

His maternal grandfather, Charles Moore, was a vice president at Ford Motor Co. from 1952-63, according to Peter Geithner, the secretary's father. But Geithner wasn't very interested in cars growing up -- in part because he graduated from high school in Asia, his father said. 

Summers owns a 1995 Mazda Protege that's registered in Massachusetts. He previously owned a 1996 Ford Taurus GL.

Hmmmm ... Kind of like finding out that the chef for your restaurant, eats down the street.

Something tells me that a whole bunch of people in the Obama Administration will be visiting their local car dealerships - those selling American models - in the near future.

However, there is a bright side to this.

The persons that our Garlic readers voted to be added to the Obama Car Team, are probably the best possible salesman for just this type of problem.

And, they certainly will be able to part quality advice, as to repairs and upkeep.



The Results

For his "Presidential panel on the auto industry", Obama should include; 

Click and Clack,,, Tally 40% 

Danica Patrick ... Tally 30% 

Speed Racer... Tally 20% 

Like Dick Cheney's Energy Task Force, keep it Super Secret ... Tally 10% 


The New Garlic Weekly Poll;  

If the GOP Governors don't want the Stimulus Money, Obama should ...

Go over to the leftside column and place your vote!