Hey Davenport Iowa, Use Our List Next Time!

Much in the spirit of Eddie Izzards "Flag" routine, or Burgess Meredith's grunting "You need a manager" mantra in Rocky, Davenport, you need to have a better plan.

Davenport, Iowa, that is.



See, they took the bold step of actually doing that "separation of church and state" thing

Iowa Town Renames Good Friday to 'Spring Holiday'

One week before the most solemn day in the Christian year, the city of Davenport, Iowa removed Good Friday from its municipal calendar, setting off a storm of complaints from Christians and union members whose contracts give them that day off.

Taking a recommendation by the Davenport Civil Rights Commission to change the holiday's name to something more ecumenical, City Administrator Craig Malin sent a memo to municipal employees announcing Good Friday would officially be known as "Spring Holiday."

[snip]

"We merely made a recommendation that the name be changed to something other than Good Friday," said Tim Hart, the commission's chairman. "Our Constitution calls for separation of church and state. Davenport touts itself as a diverse city and given all the different types of religious and ethnic backgrounds we represent, we suggested the change."

Ahh, as you might anticipate, it got a bit noisy, so they backed down;

City employees, beginning with local police, feared the name change would violate their union contracts with the city, which specifies Good Friday as an official municipal holiday. Employees that work city holidays are paid time and a half.

Davenport officials called the name change an "error."

"The City of Davenport will be observing "Good Friday" as a City Holiday on April 2," read a statement released today.

"City Administrator Malin, in error, forwarded the recommendation to staff for further review and action, leading to release of a holiday notice with the holiday named 'Spring Holiday,' rather than "Good Friday," read the release.

All you had to do, Davenport, was contact us here at The Garlic.

We could have helped you out on selling this thing.

We have a list, you could have pulled from, to punch up the proposal;

Top Ten Cloves: Things The Vatican Has Done To Make Good Friday Even Better

Next time, call us.

"Nothing Lost, Mr. Christian!"

Spoiler Alert!

If you have never seen the absolute riveting movie, ''The Long Good Friday', then don't watch this video

The Long Good Friday...the fantastic end! Good Quality




"Shut up you long streak of paralyzed piss ..."

I only wish someone, anyone one of the assembled media at yesterday's final press conference with The Commander Guy, stood up and fired that back at him.

And, it would have been extra bonus points for Helen Thomas to do it.

Showing his bravery, he completely snubbed the veteran reporter, perhaps one of the very, very few who actually asked the opposite kind of questions lobbed at him by Jeff Gannon.

Perhaps, flashing back to his old drinking days, the "Compassionate Conservative" was all over the place, taking no blame, no signs of remorse, remarking only that the "Mission Accomplished" banner, and some of his rhetoric, were, perhaps, disappointments.

And, right down to the end, he showed off his intellectual prowess, referring to the Coast Guard pilots who rescued the citizens of New Orleans (no thanks to The Bush Grindhouse), as "drivers".

Drivers!

Now there's a real "Commander-In-Chief" moment ... Perhaps he should have stuck around, and fulfilled more of his National Guard service.

Maybe then he would know the difference between a "pilot" and a "driver"

While this piece of turd believes he has the record to take a victory lap, right in front of him was the evidence of just how insignificant he, and his Presidency, has become.

The Bush Grindhouse had to get interns to fill the last two rows (out of seven total) of the press room, to make it look full.

As Bob Hoskin's Harold Shand scornfully mocks the American gangsters, we borrow;

"Look at you ... The President of the United States ... of shitdom!"


Bonus Commander Guy Low Lights

Attaturk: Look, we’re not nostalgic

Andrew Sullivan: A Confession Of Sorts

Dana Milbank: Where Some See Mistakes, He Sees Disappointments

Kathy: Bush Says the World Still Respects U.S. Moral Authority

Matt Corley: Krauthammer: Bush ‘took a shoe for the country.’

David Neiwert: Bush has a peculiar way of admitting to his mistakes

Gregg Levine: Bush’s Final Presser: Redefining Success, One Rooftop Rescue at a Time