Breaking! ... Super Bowl In Doubt, As Obama Considers Bailout For Jets

Sources tell The Garlic that, in his State-on-the-Union address Wednesday evening, President Barack Obama will lay out steps to a program that will delay the Super Bowl, scheduled for February 7th, so that a bailout plan for the New York Jets can be worked out.



Obama will cite that the "hopes and dreams" of New York Jets fans are "too big to fail", and that it is imperative for the government to step in, a prevent a complete meltdown.

The Jets lost yesterday, to the Indianapolis Colts, in the AFC Championship game, giving them the berth in the Super Bowl, against the New Orleans Saints, who beat the Minnesota Vikings, in the NFC Championship game.

Additionally, unnamed Administration officials were looking for a "Katrina-Sept 11th Super Bowl", to augment other metaphorical imagery the President will have in his SOTU speech;

"We need to build a bridge, from Namath, to New Orleans, so that the engine of passion, held so dearly by Jets and Saints fans, two cities badly scarred in our recent history, can continue to rumble, to resonate, and be a beacon to our continued economic growth.

Details of the Jets Bailout plan are sketchy, and it is not clear if it will contain oversight, or regulations, limiting bonuses of team executives.

A spokesperson for the NFL indicated the league is in discussions with the Obama White House, and, should the Super Bowl be delayed, the plans would be to continue with celebrity-filled parties, and television programs highlighting Super Bowl commercials.

Qui couper le fromage?

It was the The Commander Guy who cut the cheese.

Not quite the same, good intentioned, vibe as, say, Charlie Wilson's War



Bush War on Roquefort Raises a Stink in France ...Departing Officials Set Duty at 300%

This seems an unlikely spot to fight a trade war.

A village of 600 souls in a remote part of southern France, Roquefort clings precariously to the side of Combalou Rock, a promontory overlooking a deep valley where sheep graze in the shadow of limestone cliffs that were sheared off by a seismic jolt in prehistoric times.

But the primal shake also carved out aerated underground crevasses that give a unique economic value to this jagged landscape about 65 miles northwest of Montpellier. They make possible a gastronomical wonder that has delighted gourmets for centuries: Roquefort cheese. And now, in an era of globalized competition for trade, the smelly delicacy and its little home town have become ground zero for the warriors of export-import in Washington.

It seems, on his way out the door, the man who had a Ek-A-Lec-Tic reading list, but not such sophisticated taste buds, gave a shout out to the Freedom Fries crowd and whacked the French with a 300-percent duty on Roquefort cheese.

Yikes!

The measure, announced Jan. 13 by U.S. Trade Representative Susan C. Schwab as she headed out the door, was designed as retaliation for a European Union ban on imports of U.S. beef containing hormones. Tit for tat, and all perfectly legal under World Trade Organization rules, U.S. officials explained.

All you stinky cheese lovers, better get your dander up, and start lobbying the new Obama Administration.

Hmmmm .... Perhaps, if they could get McDonald's to start making their cheeseburgers with Roquefort ... Man, it would in no-time at all, see those walls come tumbling down, and a less-taxed stinky cheese makes it into the country ...

Or, you know ... They could tie it into the Stimulus Package ...Part of the next TARP payment

For all those Wall Street fat cats, the ones who got the $18-Billion in bonuses (I wonder how big their bonuses would have been, had they actually plunged us into a full-fledged depression) ... They're gonna want some good, imported Roquefort, to go with their whining ...

And, at least for a few moments, take away the stink from them.