Friday, March 11, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Why You Don't Want To Become A Fat Actress

10. Your tatoos will look like billboards

9. Congress might subpeona you about steroid use

8. You'll get stuck doing Pier One and Christmas Tree Shop commercials

7. Governor Schwarzenegger will ridicule you, using you as a example in his Junk Food campaign

6. Producers of Fat Albert will hound you to do the sequel

5. Actor pals will snicker behind your back - Million-Pound Baby

4. Because of your size, people will think you won the Los Angeles Mayor race

3. President Bush will make you start two Private Retirement Accounts

2. Two words of caution - Freeway and Weigh-Stations

1. Blame weight gain on nerves; You, along with Russell Crowe, were a terrorist target

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