10. Needs funds for padded seats in the Sistine … His ass is still sore, and it was only four-ballots
9. Always thought you couldn't wear white after Labor Day
8. The way they got me locked up here, I gotta figure out how I can get my World Cup bet placed next year
7. I'm not going to have the time to keep up with my blog
6. Keep the trips to Poland down to one-dayers … I mean, the guy was in here forever and I can't take another pierogi
5. Disappointed the Papal apartment doesn't have cable
4. You think they could'a put a decent coffee place in St. Peter's Square, instead of having to walk six-blocks
3. Man, wish I had my BMW … They're gonna make me ride that lemon, the Pope Mobile …
2. Make note; Get that smart-ass cardinal from Philadelphia to stop calling me Pope Benny
1. Have to look into changing the rules, so that the newly-elected Pope can get a hit off the spliff that gives the white smoke
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