Friday, April 22, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Things NBC Will Do To Lift The Sagging Today Show

10. Clean-up Gene Shalit - He scares people

9. Save some budget and lose the studio - Do the entire show outside on 49th Street

8. This year, have Matt Lauer grow his hair really long, like Johnny Damon

7. Bring back Tom Brokaw; Have him do daily critique of Brian Williams newscasts

6. Let Katie Couric do one of her signature hard-hitting series and accompany O.J. Simpson in his search for the killers

5. Allow Willard Scott to cheat - Anyone 95-99-years-old gets a Smuckers 100th Birthday Greeting

4. Run a Texas Hold'em series between financial advisors Jean Chatzky and Suze Orman

3. On his next “Where in the World is Matt Lauer” annual trip, make him dress like Carmen Sandiego

2. Hire only attractive super models to gawk in the windows during the broadcast

1. Bring back Dave Garroway's Chimp and let him run the show

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