Top Ten Cloves: Things You Can Wear That Will Get You Arrested By The Capital Police

10. A black hat and trench coat, ala Jack Abramoff

9. That duck, or whatever-it-was, dress of Bjork's

8. Any kind of suit or outfit made from salami

7. Groucho Marx glasses and nose

6. Dennis Rodman's wedding dress

5. Loofahs (Note: Bill O'Reilly has a waiver)

4. Leather bustier (but only if Justin Timberlake is around)

3. Anything close to resembling Michael Moore

2. Like the gay cowboy from 'Brokeback Mountain'

1. As a compassionate Conservative (though, likely, the Capital Police won't recognize you)