Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 30 April 2006

Angelina Jolie, and husband Brad Pitt criticized fellow actor George Clooney, saying in an interview, "we came to Africa first and now he's trying to steal our thunder ... There's six other continents, he should go to one of them ..."

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld quietly changed military rules this week, mandating that any officer who wishes to criticize the Secretary, and/or call for his firing or resignation, must wear face paint. Said Rumsfeld "When I'm waking around the halls of the Pentagon, I don't want to be guessing who's for me or who's against me"

President Bush had to play referee this past week, keeping Senators Frist and Reed from going at each other during a meeting in the White House.

Reed later apologized to the President, and Frist, after learning it was Karl Rove, sitting behind him, that whispered "you're nothing but a little Nevada pimp"

Iran released their first promotional poster for their new Nuclear Development Program. Journalists who have seen the campaign say it borrows heavily from "Our Friend, The Atom " promoted by Walt Disney back in the 1950's

Fox News Network Host Sean Hannity indicated that the White House first approached him about filling the Press Secretary position, taken by colleague Tony Snow, but Hannity declined the offer so he could continue working on "important issues, like finding out why Mayor Nagin never used the buses during the hurricane

House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) denied he was getting into his large SUV, after a press conference promoting alternative energy and Hybrid cars, saying he was going to spray paint the vehicle with "gas-guzzler" until he noticed the press following him.

Hastert added that he got in to the SUV and drove to an undisclosed location, where he could commit the vandalism in private