News Item: Feliz Cinco de Mayo!
10. For the heck of it, President has Joint Chiefs of Staff draw up plans to invade
9. President lets Look-Alike Steve Bridges issue a few Signing Statements, making every day “Cinco de Mayo Day”
8. Karl Rove does all of his smearing today in Spanish only
7. Distance the President from Congressman Tancredo’s bill, to ban May 5th and make it a felony to have on any calendars
6. Screw with the pensions of five retired generals who have criticized the President and Secretary Rumsfeld
5. Vamos Conseguir Loco! - Sabado Gigante Host Don Francisco gets to run White House Briefing Room for the day
4. Harriet Meirs has to bail out two White House interns, after they got caught cashing in some of Bill Frist’s $100 Rebate Checks to buy more beer
3. To make a point, President Bush, with the Capital Steps, will sing
2. After one beer, Vice President Cheney dons his chemical-biological suit, roams the White House, scaring the bejeezes out of tourists
1. Afternoon cocktails and a Steven Colbert piñata
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