Top Ten Cloves: Things About Tom Delay’s Last Day In Congress

News Item: DeLay Pulls No Punches In Final Speech to House

10. Got to have lunch with Vice President Dick Cheney – In the Secret Bunker

9. As a parting shot, had wall built down middle of House aisle and got resolution passed the Democrats would need tamper-proof ID to speak on the floor

8. President Bush offered, at first opportunity, to issue a Signing Statement, absolving him of having to follow any laws

7. Now that he’s retired, he’s joining the generals and called for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield to resign

6. Paraphrased Ann Coulter and called Nancy Pelosi a “Harpie”

5. Day started with parade down K Street – Instead of confetti, shredded money showered the route

4. Lovely retirement gift from Republican Leaders – New refrigerator with freezer capable of holding millions

3. Got nervous yesterday morning, as President Bush started to say “Through his every action, he sought to defeat America ...”, that he was talking about his work as House Leader, and not the killing of Zarqawi

2. Announced he’s establishing the Jack Abramoff Golf Classic, in Scotland, and he expects House Republicans to sign up

1. For new career, wants to be known as “Hammer Uncle”

Moving forward, in his new career, Tom Delay wants to be known as “Hammer Uncle”