Top Ten Cloves: What President Bush Will Do To Help Congress Pass The Gay Marriage Ban

News Item: Senate to Tackle Gay Marriage Ban

10. Whether it passes, or not, we blame Iran so we can start the invasion

9. Strong-arm Canada to say that 17 Terror suspects arrested over weekend were ready to enter U.S. to promote Gay Marriage

8. Have Vice President Dick Cheney warn that traditional marriage is “in it’s final throes” unless Congress passes amendment

7. Give Mary Cheney and immediate post as Ambassador to Tobago and ship her out right away – before the debate starts

6. See if he can get Tony Perkins or James Dobson to put together a few “Gay Marriage Sundays” rallies

5. To help Republican candidates, will start smear campaign that Al Gore’s new film is really about Gay Marriage

4. Will Have Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez add Gay Marriage to the Patriot Act

3. Suggest adding gay couples getting married to his Immigration Bill, so they’ll have to leave country and reapply to enter

2. Promise to fill all Senate and Congress members’ freezers with $90,000 if they pass Gay Marriage Ban

1. Doesn’t matter what Congress does - He’ll simply add Signing Statement to next bill that passes, banning Gay Marriage