Friday, December 07, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Disappointing Things Left Out of Mitt Romney's Mormon Speech Yesterday

News Item: Romney's speech over. Didn't say squat

10. Make it a Federal crime for anyone to repeat the story of him driving around with his dog on the roof of his car

9. Speculation that he say he's moving all the White House, Congress, and government's business to Salt Lake City

8. Many were hopeful that he'd give the word that BYU graduates will be his choice to fill the Justice Department with

7. His first order of business as President would be to mandate that HBO produce and air 'Big Love" throughout his presidency

6. For sure, though we'd hear that he'll definitely double the size of Guantanamo

5. If elected, all the Presidential portraits hanging in the White House would be replaced with ones of Joseph Smith

4. Continue the Bush policy of Illegal Wiretapping and get all those Mosques wired-up

3. He would streamline visas for his old landscaping company, so they could come down and work the White House grounds

2. That he would add Evangelical Christians to the list, along with Muslims, of people who won't be in his cabinet

1. Didn't announce, if elected, will embrace polygamy and have 19 First Ladies

Bonus Make-Up Mitt Links

Chris Cillizza: Romney's "Faith in America" Speech: What Worked and What Didn't

Michael Scherer: "A vote for Romney is a vote for Satan"; Some members of the GOP's largest voting bloc, like Florida preacher Bill Keller, think a Mormon in the White House would mean more souls going to hell.

Retro Garlic: I'm Surprised It Wasn't Headlined As "Mormon Candidate Ties To Cosmetic Industry Exposed"

If elected, will Mitt Romney move the government to Salt Lake City?

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