She Comes With A Tinfoil Hat, But That's Not So Bad, Is It Mitt? ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

It's gotta be, kind of, tough for Make-Up Mitt this evening.

Here's Johnny Boy McCain wrapping up the Republican nomination this evening (at least, as of the time of this writing, that's what's being projected).

Ain't that a kick-in-the-pants ...

It had to be so tantalizing ... The breaking of a "scandal" ... Attractive female lobbyist ... Favors being done ... Letter writing...

Maybe, he gathered the boys around, and they set up a phone bank in their Belmont basement ... Maybe even had little contests, of who could come up with the most outrageous rumor they could phone to the media ... Or, who could disguise their voice the best ... Who could do the funniest accent when dishing the dirt on McCain ...

And, our Garlic Poll Voters felt that, for such hard work, the new, unsuspended campaign would have a Romney Girl - the bubbling Oscar winner Marion Cotillard.

Yeah, she might have a few tinfoil hats that she may wear on the campaign trail, but believing landing on the moon was a hoax, and the Sept. 11th attack on the WTC has more to do with saving on remolding, than it being a terror attack, isn't that far off the beaten path of that Mormon Faith that doesn't get brought up very often, certainly not included in your "I Am Spartacus" speech, early on the campaign

Heck, Mitt, with Cotillard on your side, you could have probably pulled a good chunk of the Ron Paul base.


The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll February 25 - March 4, 2008

For Mitt Romney to jump back in the Presidential Race, he needs to ...

1. Hire bubbling Oscar winner Marion Cotillard as new Romney Girl Tally 34%

2. Stop singing rap tunes Tally 26%

3. Get a photo of himself out there, in Somalian gear Tally 21%

4. For winning over GOP base, declare you saw your father march with Ronald Reagan Tally 19%

This week’s Poll - With Hillary Clinton continuing on, she should change her campaign slogan (H/T Barry Crimmins) to ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

So, Johnnie McCain survives in the Sunshine State, besting Make-Up Mitt, Rudy911 and The Huckster.

Or, as Melissa McEwan put it, over on Shakespeare's Sister;

"As Petulant mentioned in his Morning Readings, John "The Defaultinator" McCain took the all-important GOP Florida primary yesterday, eking out another win on the basis of merely not being a cross-dressing philanderer, a lying dog-torturer in magic underpants, or a virulently misogynist theocrat. Way to be the least objectionable specimen in a barrel of worm-infested apples, McCain! A hearty congrats from all your fans at Shakesville.

The prediction, according to the babbling talking heads last evening, is that the GOP will, slowly, begin to stand in line behind Johnnie Boy, for he, with his war heroism, deep Senatorial experience, and, by gosh, his Come-Back-Kid determination, is the only one, the gallant RNC soldier-in-shining-armor who can take on the Dragon Hillary.

The GOP, for many reasons, is on their knees every night, praying for a Hillary-McCain showdown.

It will be the 1990's all over again, with needing little more than to pull out the Clinton Bashing box from the archives.

If you were, during the South Carolina Primary, confused as to which Clinton was running, wait'll a general election of McCain-Hillary ... You'll have a clearer vision looking through the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle ...

For, if they get Obama, it will be the Kennedy-Nixon Debate every single day of the campaign, McCain tripping over his Father Time beard, a skeletal-dust-filled suit laying in front of the voting stations by the time election day rolls around.

The youth and exuberance, the oratory skills, of Obama will paint the Straight Talk Express bus into a hearse, McCain's campaign posters into The Picture of Dorian Gray.

And that's just the visuals.

McCain's going to have an arduous campaign, having to carry The Commander Guy on this back throughout.

It will be hope, and rebuilding America's integrity, versus the 100-year war candidate.

No doubt, the McCain crew is already starting to put the bus in reverse, and will frame McCain's hawkish embrace of the Bush Doctrine as a Korea-like, policing mission.

Good luck, and order some neck braces.

Driving in reverse for so long a period of time is surely to cause some discomfort.

Hmmm ... Didn't Bob Dole have his own bag of war heroism, and his own deep Senatorial experience?

If Dole isn't plagued by raging hard-ons, maybe, just maybe, the GOP will really reach into the "It's Your Turn" bag and match up Dole with Johnnie for another run at it, punching the All-Time, Grand OLD Party ticket ...

To steal from The Commander Guy ... Bring them on!


Bonus Johnnie Boy Riffs

Barry Crimmins: Whispering John's big night

ABC News: High School Student to McCain: You're No Leader

Arianna Huffington: Those Were the Days: Bush and McCain Use 9/11 Nostalgia to Sell the Surge

McCain Sings: "Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran," At Campaign Stop

McCain Calls For MoveOn.Org To Be "Thrown Out of the Country"

McCain says he wants to shoot Osama

Ari Melber: LIEBERMAN'S NEW KISS OF DEATH

John McCain & Miss Teen SC on Economics

"They Don't Like Me! ... They Really Don't Like Me! ...

No, I don't expect we'll hear Make-Up Mitt Romney squeal like Sally Fields, but the word is out that he is, pretty much, despised by his fellow Republican candidates.

The NYT today, in their account, "Romney Leads in Ill Will Among G.O.P. Candidates", lays it out;

"Never get into a wrestling match with a pig,” Senator John McCain said in New Hampshire this month after reporters asked him about Mr. Romney. “You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.”

That it might make Make-Up Mitt rap again, breaking into an improvised "Who Let The Pigs Out - Oink Oink", remains to be seen, and, the timing of this article should make for an interesting sidebar, in tonight's GOP Florida Debate (with the dreadful duo of Little Timmy Russert and Brian Williams moderating once again).

With Rudy911 slipping into oblivion, he may be the only one that will suck up to Make-Up Mitt, if the others, openly, show their dislike and contempt for him.

Mustang Bobby, over on Shakespeare's Sister, doesn't see McCain offering any platitudes;

"It must be especially galling to John McCain who went through the 2000 primary against just such an opponent, got his head handed to him by Karl Rove, and paid his dues by sucking up to Bush and Company over the last eight years, leaving him with the feeling that if anyone is entitled to be the next Republican president, it should be him. Then in walks this matinée idol with a political pedigree and the same simplistic nostrums about a CEO presidency and "Washington is broken" that worked so well for the last guy, and the GOP voters are eating it up. No wonder McCain's pissed."

And Steve Benen, from The Carpetbagger Report, nails it with his "Mitt Romney and the Eddie Haskell Phenomenon";

"For practically an entire year now, the various campaigns have gone up and down, but in every instance, there was Romney, in their face and presenting himself to voters like an ingratiating, toadying Eddie Haskell."

You can almost bet, Make-Up Mitt will keep smiling through it, but, if they do gang up on him, let's hope, for the Mittster's sake, he doesn't get rattled, go into Robo-Mitt mode, and, an attempt to pander to the Floridians, saying something like he saw his father march with Anita Bryant, or worse, Castro, alienating the Cuban GOP.

He does have a track record of getting flustered and flubbing his lines in debates.


More Madcap Make-Up Mitt

Romney Speech: Where's Leonard Pinth Garnell When You Really Need Him?

This Just In! Romney Backs McCain In Wanting To "Shoot Obama"; Says Consulted Sons About Using Deadly Force; Hopes Opportunity Comes Before Primaries

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Mitt Romney's Announcement To Run For President

“Who Let The Dogs Out?” ... Mitt, Did You Check The Roof of The Car?

“Who Let The Dogs Out?”

God, it it moments like this, during campaigns, that really, despite whether you care for the candidate, or not, makes you feel embarrassed for them.

Time will tell if this was Willard M. Romney's "Dukakis-in-a-tank" moment, or John Kerry's windsurfing adventure (and, to keep it in this season, Mike Huckabee's "Elmer Fudd" hunting gear photo shoot)

But getting back to the man-for-all-positions (just not at the same time, or, necessarily, in order), we can stand down Leonard Pinth Garnell, regarding Make-Up Mitt's less-then-spirited foray into rap music today.

No doubt, Mr. Garnell would have had inveighed, with phrases such as "Astonishingly ill-chosen!", "Unrelentingly bad!" and, to wrap it up, "Really bit the big one!"

And, oh, the irony ...

Whatever possessed Make-Up Mitt to come up, in his MTV moment, with that song?

Oh all the songs ... Rap, Hip-Hop ... Show tunes ... Whatever, pick any genre ...

“Who Let The Dogs Out?”

From the man who strapped the family dog to the roof of the family car...

The incident: dog excrement found on the roof and windows of the Romney station wagon. How it got there: Romney strapped a dog carrier — with the family dog Seamus, an Irish Setter, in it — to the roof of the family station wagon for a twelve hour drive from Boston to Ontario, which the family apparently completed, despite Seamus's rather visceral protest.

Some days, this stuff just writes itself ...


Bonus Make-Up Mitt Woofs!

Watch the CBS News Video of Mitt and his Who Let The Dogs Out Moment

Who Let the Dogs out??- Baha men Original version

dday: Uptight White Guy Out Of His Element Alert

Breaking News! Romney On Debate Gaffe: "Meant To Say I Would Consult With My Sons"; Candidate Feverishly Works To Correct Impression; Campaign Said To Be Firing All Its' Lawyers

Is John Boehner Consulting The Romney Campaign, Giving Make-Up Mitt Crying Lessons?

Top Ten Cloves: Other People Mitt Romney Saw His Father With

















"I can sing "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window" instead, if you want ..."

Willow Weep For Me ... If Not, Then For Hillary - Or With Her ...

Sad as I can be - Hear me willow and weep for me

Hmmm ... Was it the warm weather or the warm, fuzzy emotions?

She pulled the woman vote, so, maybe her little "The View" moment had some impact ...

If the bulk of the Independent vote is found to have gone over to McCain, Obama can claim that Mitt Romney beat him too ... The Granite Staters were not, under any circumstances, going to let Make-Up Mitt drive back across the border to Belmont with a laurel wreath perfectly placed on his head ... But it may end up that the difference was the woman vote came out for the Clintons

Poor John Edwards ... The year he decides to run on his own, he draws two, mega-death stars to contend with, and even if he is the better candidate, he gets lost in the trail of galaxy matter (The Garlic, if we were have endorsed anyone in the Primaries, it would be Edwards ... Most pragmatic, fighting for the working man, and, perhaps the most normal, regular-type person amongst the motley crew) ... Edwards has to have had the thought cross through his mind, back in 2004, instead of being second-billing to The Dud, he should have run on his own then ... Ahh, but it ain't over yet ... Anything can happen ...

10:32PM: With about 66% reporting, MSNBC called it for Hillary ... CNN waits about another 15-minutes before making their call (Oh, the tension in Wolf's Situation Room) ... Obama gives his concession speech at 11PM ...

Stuck, pretty much with MSNBC most of the night, who all had gales of laughter and tore apart John McCain's victory speech.

What happened there? ... Did McCain pick up a bet - Go out there and read a horrible, disjointed, terrible speech for $100 bucks? ... Somebody check the Straight Talk Express, make sure exhaust, or carbon monoxide, isn't leaking inside ... But if I were McCain, I'd still keep my guard up, and make sure he knows were Oscar the Death Cat is at all times ...

In a foray over to CNN, I was stunned to see Anderson Cooper throw the analysis to ... Ralph Reed, Republican Strategist!

Was there an Indian Casino referendum on the ballot in New Hampshire this evening?

Bill "Will Vice President For Food" Richardson brought in his standard 5% of the vote ... Nobody can round up 5% of the vote like Bill R. ... Perhaps time for El Jeffe to pack it in, before he's embarrassed in being dropped from the next round of debates (and who will chide everyone to be civil, he must be thinking) ... He can leave his card with the remaining candidates and, with one last pitch, tell'em he'll make a great VP ...

11:25PM: On MSNBC, Brian Williams and Little Timmy Russert segue into a two-man Hillary jerk ...

Williams: Greatest Political Upset in American History
Russert: We have Ali-Frazier

Ugh! ... It's only the beginning ... Prepare for the onslaught of pro-Clinton, "It's Hillary!" for the next number of days ...The media and pundits will be falling back in love with her and you'll hear "Comeback Kid" bandied about more often than Pete Rose bet on baseball games ... Wouldn't surprise me to see Hillary and her camp go back into their "incumbent/entitlement" mode ... After all, this was a "Primary" and not a "Caucus" ...

Either that or she starts ballin'-like-a-baby at the drop-of-a-hat ...

More, as they say, as this story develops ... You can visit Memeorandum for all the post spin

- 30 -

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard Last Evening At The Iowa Caucuses

News Item: Obama stuns Clinton in Iowa while Huckabee shows his strength over Romney

10. Pass the word ... Alan Keyes is going around, trying to pass himself off as Barack Obama

9. It's the writer's strike ... Only reason I'm here is cuz' I'm tired of watching reruns

8. Bill Clinton's going around, complaining, none of the caucus sites had any donuts

7. I heard Huckabee screwed up again ... Flying back from The Tonight Show, he flew into Idaho, instead of coming here

6. There's a guy outside, selling padded SUV sunroof handles

5. Look, someone is going around dressed up like New Hampshire's Old Man of the Mountain ... Oh, wait a minute, that's John McCain!

4. Is Fred Thompson the guy with the wide stance?

3. Geez, those Ron Paul kids don't give up ... They're running fundraising car washes outside all the GOP caucus sites

2. I heard that the Romney campaign, if you vote for him, will give you a DVD of his faith speech

1. She should have gone with the cleavage ... Could'a been worth 5-points, easy

Bonus Iowa Caucus Links

Greg Sargent - Edwards: From Here On Out, It's Me Versus Obama

Barry Crimmins: Hog Futures Tumble in Iowa

John Ellis: A Hard Loss for Romney

David Corn: McCain in NH: Would Be "Fine" To Keep Troops in Iraq for "A Hundred Years"

Don Frederick: Ron Paul gets some revenge

'They Shoot Iowa Caucuses, Don't They?

Rachel Maddow: Hillary Apologist and Obama Basher

'They Shoot Iowa Caucuses, Don't They?

Rocky: Here they are again, folks! These wonderful, wonderful kids! Still struggling! Still hoping! As the clock of fate ticks away, the dance of destiny continues! The marathon goes on, and on, and on! HOW LONG CAN THEY LAST!

From "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?"

Boy, what a fucked up system!

This, the Iowa Caucus, looked like a "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" contest, but directed by Jacques Tati.

It couldn't be more absurd

Stand over here ... Move over here ... Now raise your hands ... Move back over here ...

Bouncing around the channels found Wolf Blitzer working a SuperSizeMe set of his Situation Room and Rachel Maddow settling into her Hillary Clinton Apologist mode ... Fox has their usual cast of dimwits, including Little Billy Kristol...

Winners called are;

Huckabee over Make-Up Mitt.

Obama running away with it, with Hillary and Edwards duking it out for second place.

This is major cool and major headlines because I'm sure the empty suits that run both parties are pulling a Tessio, from The Godfather, repeating over-and-over, "Hell, he can't do that ... It screws up all my plans ..."

There is no understating of Obama walking away with it ... In a state where you could probably count the number of minorities on one hand ... And taking on the Clinton Machine ... Hillary, after all, was supposed to be able to just show up and her cakewalk to the nomination was all but official ...

Trouble in River City, indeed ...

And the stumblin'-and-bumblin' Huckabee running, proverbially, his fingers through Make-Up Mitt's hair ... His expensive hair .. His 20-1-spending-in-Iowa hair ...

All of Mitt's doggies, and all of Mitt's sons may not be able to put Mitt back together again ...

Maybe it is true, what they say about Chuck Norris ...

I had planned doing a complete different post, that I wrote earlier this afternoon.

Now, having watched the coverage, I don't believe it captured the satire and buffoonery of this event with it, so, we go free-flow and let it fly on-the-run.

The first leg of, hopefully, finding the person that will lift us out of the darkness of the Bush Grindhouse, has been run through the corn husks of Iowa and now it's on to the land of "Live Free or Die".

Like Rocky says in "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?": Yowza! Yowza! Yowza!

Iowa Caucus Links

Obama, Huckabee win Iowa caucuses, CNN projects

Obama Emerges Victorious in Iowa; Obama Takes Iowa; 2nd, 3rd Place Too Close to Call

Huckabee Takes Iowa; Romney in 2nd; Former Arkansas Governor Rides Momentum Surge to Early Victory

Visit Memeorandum for a bevy of articles and links

Top Ten Cloves: Other People Mitt Romney Saw His Father With

News Item: Romney never saw father on King march; Defends figurative words; evidence contradicts story

10. The first Super Bowl... I still have the picture in my head, Dad standing there, arm-and-arm, with Max McGee

9. Margaret Mead... I was very young, and it was on a dig in some foreign country ... I can still see, both of them, in their dirty khakis

8. U Thant... I believe that I saw Dad be the first person to greet him at the United Nations

7. Charlton Heston... In the early 60's, I think it was on the set of "The Greatest Story Ever Told" that I saw them ... If Dad were still alive, I can see him, at the NRA convention - who has endorsed me, by the way - handing Mr. Heston the "cold dead hands" rifle

6. John Glenn... It's so crystal clear, that I could swear Dad was on the first orbit with him

5. Miles Davis... It was just before 'Bitches Brew' came out ... Not many people saw it, but Dad was an old hipster ...

4. Ian Smith, the Rhodesian Prime Minister... In fact, as I remember seeing, Dad had, kind of, a Mormon Prophecy, and told Smith that the country would, some day, have a name like "Zimbaby", or something like that ...

3. Hank Aaron ... Dad was there the big night, No. 715... Almost can see Dad himself, hitting that homerun

2. Abba Eban ... I can still see them, like they were standing here today ... Dad told Eban, he could wrap things in in five, or six-days

1. I can see it clearly... August 15, 1965 ... Shea Stadium... Dad up there with The Beatles ...


Bonus Make-Up (and Made-Up) Mitt Riffs

Steve Benen/Crooks and Liars: Romney’s tall tale about MLK

Josh Marshall: Saw in the Sense of Imagined

TBogg: Black History Month with Rahsaan Roland Romney

Andrew Sullivan: It Gets Better

Is John Boehner Consulting The Romney Campaign, Giving Make-Up Mitt Crying Lessons?

Romney Speech: Where's Leonard Pinth Garnell When You Really Need Him?


















Well ... Mitt would have seen his Dad there ... But, what the hey, he got the NRA endorsement, anyway ...

Romney Speech: Where's Leonard Pinth Garnell When You Really Need Him?

Yeah, we hit this last Friday with a Top Ten Clove offering, but it just isn't sitting right.

Instead of laying it all out there about the Mormons, we got a dumpster-full of boiler-plate bullshit, the kind of campaign speech typically reserved for one of those Main Street, USA, 7AM Politics-and-Pancakes event.

If you listened to, primarily, the mainstream media punditry, and/or the Rightwing Freakshow, you may be lead to believe that Willard Mitt Romney, Republican panderer for President, gave a speech that ended war, famine, found a cure for cancer and otherwise, came off like an old Coca Cola commercial ("I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony ...").

Where was the droll Leonard Pinth Garnell when you really needed him, for this was, surely, an episode of "Bad Political Theatre" if there ever was one.

Pinth could have warned us, ever so slyly, indicating we were about to see a "a monumentally ill-advised, exquisitely awful, unrelentingly bad, pandering orgy of the highest order, drenched in self-importance, inflated with an astounding eye towards nothingness and dripping, so sweetly, with intolerance, it will make a bigots spine tingle ..."

Hosannas are being hoisted and the word "Presidential", and that "he looked Presidential", is being flung around like it was a Frisbee convention.

Listen to this dreck from 'The Boston Globe';

"Mitt Romney's highly anticipated religion speech yesterday was a political tour de force, rejecting the notion that he'd be bound as president by the leaders of his Mormon Church but also placing his faith among the many religions that constitute the "moral heritage" of the United States."

"Tour de Force? Moral Heritage?"

Peggy Noonan, that aging #1 Reagan Groupie, every so aching for a New Gipper, blew this wet kiss to Make-up Mitt;

"Mr. Romney gave the speech Thursday morning. How did he do?

Very, very well. He made himself some history. The words he said will likely have a real and positive impact on his fortunes. The speech's main and immediate achievement is that foes of his faith will now have to defend their thinking, in public. But what can they say to counter his high-minded arguments? "Mormons have cooties"?

It was a 40-minute-plus game of dodge ball, not even in the same ballpark of talking anything remotely close about Mormonism. No Joseph Smith banners on that stage. In fact, Make-Up Mitt only uttered the word "Mormon" once.

"Made himself some history?"

It was a Mad Lib, fill-in-the-blank stump speech, of the most generic terms, on Religion and Beliefs, not the bombshell, clear-the-decks, cover-your-childs' eyes, discourse on Mormonism.

He, and his campaign staff (the one's left not pretending to be a cop), knew that couldn't get the wall-to-wall, live, cable news coverage if Make-Up Mitt was going to prattle on about a cult (though, it could have been of interest to MSNBC, for the Doc-Bloc specials)

Lawrence O'Donnell, taking some heat for his comments yesterday on the McLaughlin Group was on-target with;

"This was the worst political speech of my lifetime. Because this man stood there and said to you "this is the faith of my fathers." And you, and none of these commentators who liked this speech realized that the faith of his fathers is a racist faith. As of 1978 it was an officially racist faith, and for political convenience in 1978 it switched. And it said "OK, black people can be in this church." He believes, if he believes the faith of his fathers, that black people are black because in heaven they turned away from God, in this demented, Scientology-like notion of what was going on in heaven before the creation of the earth."

Here's a few gems from Make-Up Mitt;

"Freedom requires religion just as religion requires freedom. Freedom opens the windows of the soul so that man can discover his most profound beliefs and commune with God. Freedom and religion endure together, or perish alone.

"I believe that every faith I have encountered draws its adherents closer to God. And in every faith I have come to know, there are features I wish were in my own: I love the profound ceremony of the Catholic Mass, the approachability of God in the prayers of the Evangelicals, the tenderness of spirit among the Pentecostals, the confident independence of the Lutherans, the ancient traditions of the Jews, unchanged through the ages, and the commitment to frequent prayer of the Muslims. As I travel across the country and see our towns and cities, I am always moved by the many houses of worship with their steeples, all pointing to heaven, reminding us of the source of life's blessings.

WOW!

Move over, Elmer Gantry, there's a new healer in town!

And that is was calculated to "end the discussion", as to his Mormonism, is extremely lame, or, as Leonard Pinth Garnell might say, "Astonishingly ill-chosen!"

That he can get away with an extended photo-op and now he's untouchable?

If, and it's big, huge, monumental "if", Romney does get elected (Hey, we do have 2000 as precedent, and, anyway, you'll likely see Elvis, with monkeys flying out of his ass, before that happens), you better get your God on ... And it better be the "right" God, or your toast.

"We separate church and state affairs in this country, and for good reason. No religion should dictate to the state nor should the state interfere with the free practice of religion. But in recent years, the notion of the separation of church and state has been taken by some well beyond its original meaning. They seek to remove from the public domain any acknowledgment of God. Religion is seen as merely a private affair with no place in public life. It is as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America – the religion of secularism. They are wrong.

More On Make-Up Mitt's Holier-Than-Thou Stump Speech

Pam's House Blend: Mitt's pious bullsh*t

The Carpetbagger Report: Did Romney’s speech work?

Lee Harris: How and Why Romney Bombed

Maureen Dowd: Mitt’s No J.F.K.

Matthew Yglesias: Romney's Terrible Speech

Top Ten Cloves: Disappointing Things Left Out of Mitt Romney's Mormon Speech Yesterday

News Item: Romney's speech over. Didn't say squat

10. Make it a Federal crime for anyone to repeat the story of him driving around with his dog on the roof of his car

9. Speculation that he say he's moving all the White House, Congress, and government's business to Salt Lake City

8. Many were hopeful that he'd give the word that BYU graduates will be his choice to fill the Justice Department with

7. His first order of business as President would be to mandate that HBO produce and air 'Big Love" throughout his presidency

6. For sure, though we'd hear that he'll definitely double the size of Guantanamo

5. If elected, all the Presidential portraits hanging in the White House would be replaced with ones of Joseph Smith

4. Continue the Bush policy of Illegal Wiretapping and get all those Mosques wired-up

3. He would streamline visas for his old landscaping company, so they could come down and work the White House grounds

2. That he would add Evangelical Christians to the list, along with Muslims, of people who won't be in his cabinet

1. Didn't announce, if elected, will embrace polygamy and have 19 First Ladies


Bonus Make-Up Mitt Links

Chris Cillizza: Romney's "Faith in America" Speech: What Worked and What Didn't

Michael Scherer: "A vote for Romney is a vote for Satan"; Some members of the GOP's largest voting bloc, like Florida preacher Bill Keller, think a Mormon in the White House would mean more souls going to hell.

Retro Garlic: I'm Surprised It Wasn't Headlined As "Mormon Candidate Ties To Cosmetic Industry Exposed"


If elected, will Mitt Romney move the government to Salt Lake City?

This Just In! Romney Backs McCain In Wanting To "Shoot Obama"

Says Consulted Sons About Using Deadly Force; Hopes Opportunity Comes Before Primaries

Jumping sharks and strapping dogs to the roof of the family car just don't seem quite enough.

For the second straight day, Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney brought up the name of a Democratic rival, this time, saying he would back fellow candidate John McCain in "shooting Barack Obama".

Romney was following up on a McCain appearance yesterday, at the Thompson Center Arms in Rochester, New Hampshire, where the Arizona Senator was pandering for support, telling workers at the small arms factory that "I will follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of hell and I will shoot him with your products."

Romney, not wanting to stumble again on using force, as he did in the Republican debate last week, quickly supported his rival, and attempted to top him, saying "I wouldn't wait to get to the Gates of Hell, I would go to the ends-of-the-earth to shoot Barack Obama."

Romney then, jokingly, added "I just hope it the opportunity comes before the primaries."

Just yesterday, Romney, speaking at a Chamber of Commerce meeting in Greenwood, South Carolina, and discussing the latest audio tape release of the still-on-the-loose Al Qaeda leader, told a stunned audience that "Actually, just look at what Osam - Barack Obama - said just yesterday. Barack Obama, calling on radicals, jihadists of all different types, to come together in Iraq. That is the battlefield ..."

Romney spokesman Kevin Madden brushed off the name stumble, highlighting it was the first time, since the debate, that Romney could reach out for "good advice" from his sons.

"Notice," Madden asked the assembled media, "that the Governor didn't say he would consult with lawyers before shooting Obama? Notice how decisive he was ... How he didn't hesitate to say he would use deadly force ... He'll be just as strong, just as quick, when he is the President."

When alerted to Romney's comments, Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton sighed.

"That means," said a weary Burton, "that we'll have to go out and get our own body armor ... If we wait for this administration to provide it ... Well, I don't want to think about that."

Surprisingly, Attorney General nominee Michael Mukasey injected himself into the Romney gaffe.

When asked by reporters to comment on one candidate shooting another candidate, Mukasey paused before answering, and then offered that "If it amounts to shooting, then it is not Constitutional... Unless it's the President doing the shooting."

McCain, after hearing Romney's remarks snapped that Romney's sons "should be thrown out of the country."

Bonus Fric-and-Frac Links

Retro Garlic ... That Madcap McCain Is At It - Again!

More Bad News For McCain; Death Cat Curling Up Next To His Campaign Photos; Senator and Presidential Hopeful Drops F-Bomb, As Feline Grim Reaper Maintains Streak, Giving Signal That McCain Effort Over

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Mitt Romney's Announcement To Run For President

Retro Garlic: I'm Surprised It Wasn't Headlined As "Mormon Candidate Ties To Cosmetic Industry Exposed"


30 Rock - Jenna on Politics

Move Over McCain, Rudy Says He Can Jump The Shark Better Than You!

This is going to be fun ...

Those GOP candidates, perhaps feeling inferior and insecure since the poll came out that indicated voters' first choice was "None of the above", are falling all over themselves.

We had Make-Up Mitt, this week, equate his sons working on his campaign as the same type of brave, unselfish service to the country as going off to war.

Pretty close to a shark jump, but, perhaps, more a foot-in-mouth gaffe along the lines of admitting you strapped your family dog to the car roof on a long road trip.

Back in April, perhaps the beginning of his campaign just starting to get drowsy, the suspended lull before the big nap, we had Senator John McCain's (R-AZ) shark-jumping moment, taking his Sunday stroll through a Baghdad market, declaring how safe and sane it was, but not really talking, and then making a fuss about it, as to his body armor and the gun-toting helicopter escort.

Now we have "America's Mayor" Rudy Giuliani slapping on the water skies and lining up that shark;

"I was at ground zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers. ... I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I'm one of them."

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy ...

You might have just come out and bellowed "I am the great and powerful Oz!"

Or, are we saving that, almost fated moment, for Fred Thompson?

Update/Bonus Links

Talking Points Memo: 'He had his own elevator'

Village Voice - Wayne Barrett: Rudy Giuliani's Five Big Lies About 9/11


"I am the great and powerful Rudy! ... America's Mayor! ... Mister 9-11!"